He Will Be Loved
by nakceb
Summary: It's meaningless and it's not affecting him. He can stop whenever he wants. What does he care about Seifer? Nothing, that's what. At least, that's what he keeps telling everyone. Why does the word denial make him flinch?
1. Part 1

Oh my goodness. It's my first HaynerSeifer. I'm really scared because it's my first M too. But it's not _too_ explicit. Gulp. There's lots of swearing in it though. Just 'cause I figure that's how Hayner would be. The naritive is a little weird. It's third person but sort of shows Hayner's mindset. Anyway, I hope it reads okay. There should be about five or six more parts. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything associated with them. Obviously, as this is _fan_fiction**. **I also don't own the lyrics used at the start and end. But you should go listen to it. I love that song.**

* * *

_Beauty Queen of only eighteen  
She had some trouble with herself  
He was always there to help her  
She always belonged to someone else  
**She Will Be Loved **_by _**Maroon 5**_

*

"_**Haha, chicken, gonna go cry to mommy?"**_

"_**Shut up, Sefier, you meanie!"**_

"_**Meanie? What kind of a bad name is that? You need to grow up lamer."**_

"_**Seifer, dear!"**_

"_**Bye, bye lamer."**_

"_**Hayner, are you ready to go honey?"**_

"_**Mom, Seifer, kicked down my sand castle."**_

"_**I'm sure he didn't mean to, it was probably just an accident."**_

"_**No it wasn't! He's just a mea… he's just mean."**_

"_**Well, well, what do we have here? A lamer, a chicken-wuss, a fatso and a little girl."**_

"_**Fuck off Seifer."**_

"_**Yeah, and take your bookends with you."**_

"_**I think I'd rather stay here. You don't dictate what I do, lamer."**_

"_**Well then, why don't you tell yourself to fuck off?"**_

"_**Like I want to do that. And stay out of this chicken-wuss. Or does lamer really need his boyfriend to defend him?"**_

"_**Go fuck yourself, Seifer!"**_

"_**Touchy aren't we? More like you're gonna fuck him."**_

"_**Fuck you!"**_

"_**Hayner don't!"**_

"_**Get off me!"**_

"_**What's the matter, lamer? Can't finish what you started?"**_

"_**Come on, just lay off Seifer!"**_

"_**Fuck, oww!"**_

"_**Don't touch him, Rai!"**_

"_**Huh, Sefier can take him himself, ya'know."**_

"_**Guh. Fuck!"**_

"_**Catch you later lamer! And don't cry. Chicken-wuss'll kiss it better."**_

"_**Fuck, 'Lette, you got a tissue?"**_

"_**Yeah. Hayner, you should have just-"**_

"_**Don't. I don't want to hear it.**_

"_**What the hell am I gonna do guys?"**_

"_**Well, you could always share with us?"**_

"_**Yeah, I don't think so. I think I'd rather share with Roxas and the pervert."**_

"_**I wasn't offering."**_

"_**Good, 'cause I really don't want to have to hear you guys going at. Seriously, did I miss a memo that told you to find a significant other before college so you could room with them?"**_

"_**Aww, Hayner-"**_

"'_**Lette, it's fine. But God damn it, there's no way I can afford the rent on any place. I could probably only scrape half if I had a job."**_

"_**Ha- uhrm urm."**_

"_**Shut up, Pence. It could happen."**_

"_**Hayner, no one in their right mind would ever hire you."**_

"…_**You know, there is one person I know of who doesn't have a roomie and I think is looking to get a place."**_

"_**Well, shit, 'Lette, why didn't you say so. Who is it?"**_

"…"

"_**No, it's not. Fuck, no! No fucking way! N-O!"**_

"_**Hayner-"**_

"_**Olette, I'd rather kill myself! Seriously."**_

"_**Oh Hayner-"**_

"_**Honestly, I will scrape my eyeballs out with a spoon before I share a flat with **_**him**."

_Bang_.

Hayner was jolted awake by the sound of the door slamming open. He sat up, blinking, and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. He stood from the couch and took a few steps in the direction of the door, eyes on the fuming man in it's opening.

"Fuckers! Fucking fuckers!" Seifer exclaimed, threw his coat off and kicked the door shut.

Whoa, it must have been a bad day at work for him. "What the hell is up with you?" Hayner asked, a little groggily.

A second later he was wide awake, back slammed into the nearest wall, Seifer's tongue invading his mouth and hands bruising his arms. Fuck, that hurt. He was going to have bruises along his shoulder blades. Hayner attempted to force his own tongue out to join Seifer's but couldn't. Seifer bit down on Hayner's lower lip and shoved a hand down the front of his pants. Hayner grunted as Seifer squeezed hard.

*

Hayner woke up later in his bed, where he'd dragged himself to after they'd finished. He raised his head off the pillow, groaned and then dropped his face back into it. He hurt in all the places someone who wasn't gay shouldn't. Turning his head, he checked the time on his alarm clock. 5:14am. He only had himself to blame. If he hadn't spent half his day lying on the couch watching TV and napping then his 'go to bed late, get up late' routine wouldn't have been disturbed. He decided he'd blame Seifer instead. "Ugh, stupid fucker," he groaned and rolled over, wincing. There was no way he was getting back to sleep and no way he was going to be able to do any strenuous physical activity for at least a day. "Damn him."

Not that it wasn't a usual occurrence. Hayner had always known agreeing to rent a place with Seifer was a bad idea, he'd said so often enough. If it wasn't the nagging he got to clean up, the arguments, the actual physical fights, it was the sex. It was becoming a very regular thing, even if to start with it had only been every so often. Hayner refused to believe it was as damaging as Olette made it out to be, though. Wasn't any of her business anyway. Besides they were both of age and consenting. They were just two twenty year old males with very high sex drives, and they were both single. It was just sex, only with each other because they weren't the sort to go looking for one night stands, Hayner always assured himself, not totally sure why he bothered when he knew he wasn't _gay_. And even if he was - which he wasn't - there was no way he'd like _Seifer_. It had only started because first year of college had be so fucking stressful and certainly he hadn't had sex since the end of high school party.

They'd both been out drinking that night too and Hayner maintained to his friends that he'd been tipsy, if not drunk, even if he himself knew that the two cans of beer he'd had wasn't nearly enough to effect him. Besides, it was Seifer who had initiated and it would only have made things between them worse if Hayner had told him where to go. Hayner was fine with the situation, he got a regular, healthy amount of sex and didn't have to run round after some whiney girl. Win, win. It was only until he found the girl for him, and then it'd stop. Hell, he could stop now if he wanted. If only it didn't hurt so much the next day.

With another groan he forced himself to sit up. He probably should get out of the house. It was a Saturday and he shouldn't really be wasting his college vacation, at least according to Olette. But, God, it was only half five. Was Olette working today? Yes, and her shift started at six. Excellent. He could do with a coffee. He got up slowly and shuffled across the room and out the open door.

Heading to the bathroom he glanced over at the couch. Seifer was still there. He reached the bathroom and looked over once more. Damn it, why'd he do that? Seifer was completely naked and he knew that, he didn't need to see that again, especially at this ungodly hour in the morning. He closed the door behind him, feeling the cold, hard of the tiled floor on his bare feet, not all that different to their horrible, thin living room carpet. He reached over the bath and turned the shower head on, pulling the curtain across. Stepping back, he took the mat from where it hung on the towel rail and spread it out on the floor. Anything to keep Seifer from shouting and generally being a bitch. Then he carefully stepped into the tub, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain at the base of his spine. "Fuck," he swore as the fast falling water came into contact with his shoulders and chest. Why did Seifer always leave the water set to be so damn hot? Quickly reaching for the taps, he adjusted the heat. He took the soap and washed himself over, rubbing some suds through his hair. Olette would just about have a heart attack if she could she him. But he certainly wasn't going to use any of the girly shit Seifer washed his hair with. Mind you maybe that was why his was so soft. He rinsed the bubbles off, muscles relaxing with the feeling of a thousand beads of water running over him.

He turned off the stream and stepped out, and decided he maybe should have kept the water hotter to see if it could have had more effect on soothing his pains. He towelled himself off, noticing the fingertip shaped bruises along his biceps. If he was visiting Olette, a jumper would be in order. Clutching the towel round his waist he exited the bathroom, taking note that Seifer was still passed out - naked, not that it made any difference other than Hayner didn't particularly want to look at his bare ass and nobody would ever be able to sit there again - on the couch.

Once in his room, he dressed and checked the time, a quarter to six. God, he wished he was still in bed, able to tell Olette the reason he didn't do anything productive that day was that he hadn't gotten up till noon. But, alas, that was not to be. He crossed to his tiny bedroom window and poked his fingers between the blind's slats. The sun was rising and it sky seemed clear enough. It probably wouldn't rain, so he wouldn't need his coat, the jumper he was required to wear would be warm enough anyway. He took a jumper from his wardrobe before leaving his room and collecting his keys from the kitchen worktop, purposely averting his eyes from Seifer's slumbering slammed the door loudly on his way out. He'd only gone a few steps when he heard Seifer's muffled shout. He snorted, knowing he'd pay for it later but feeling Seifer deserved some of the suffering he was undergoing.

Their apartment was on the third floor, and unfortunately for Hayner that day there were no elevators, stairs were not totally comfortable. He was glad when he reached level ground. Outside the sky was tinged orange, the sun nearly but not quite up. The walk to the local coffee shop where Olette worked was only between ten and fifteen minutes. It was quite central to town, about the same distance from his apartment block as the university, only in the opposite direction. A bell tinkled as he pushed open the door and Olette looked up from behind the counter, and smiled, a little surprised, when she saw who it was. "Hayner," she greeted him with a wave, "You're up early."

He crossed the shop and leaned against the counter, "So are you."

She smiled again and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, but I have to work. You," she extended a hand and poked him on the chest, "don't."

"Well, I didn't really do much yesterday." She rose an eyebrow. "So I got a lot of sleep. Hence less this morning," he admitted.

"To be honest, it's good to see you up and out for once."

"Hey, I've been out a lot!" Hayner protested, trying to think of a suitable example. Nope, nothing,

"Right," Olette rolled her eyes once more, "So, do you want to order something or are you just here to pester me?"

"You know I'd never do that 'Lette. I'll take a coffee with caramel syrup."

"Still trying to rot your teeth?" she teased as Hayner rooted through his pockets looking for his wallet. "… 'Lette…" he began sheepishly, raising his head.

The brunette sighed and shook her head, "Honestly, Hayner, you are useless. How would you survive without me?"

"Thanks, 'Lette," Hayner beamed as she reached into her pocket and withdrew the correct change to cover his drink.

"Oh, just go and sit down." She shooed him away with a wave of her hand and Hayner headed over to occupy a table by the side window's. The shop was pretty much empty, only one other table had anyone seated at it aside for his and that was just an elderly man reading the paper. Hayner expected it would just be Olette and maybe someone else working. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been out this early, hell he couldn't remember being awake this early. He only got up at eight for university, and that was when he'd had a substantial amount of sleep and the assistance of his bloody alarm clock.

God, he was so pleased it was summer and he still had two months left. Most of his friends were working a lot, but he worked in the uni dorms' kitchen and they were closed over the summer. He supposed he could have gone out and gotten himself a summer job, but, quite frankly, he was lazy and was quite happy to use up the last of his money, then sponge of Olette, Pence and Roxas until they refused to give him anything else and then phone up his mum and beg her for some cash. He was pretty sure he'd get through the summer off his own back, though. They all could have gone home for summer but they had made a sort of joint decision to only go back near the end and spend the rest of the time in town, being it was their last summer during University. After summer it would be their last year and the summer after that would be filled with job hunting. Yuck.

As much as he complained about university, Hayner had the niggling feeling he'd miss it. Three years seeing his friends everyday and practically living together at times. It would be strange to branch out into the rest of life and Hayner was a little worried about losing everyone. He was pretty sure he'd always remain friends with Olette, Pence and Roxas, but he wouldn't see so much of them, and he might hardly ever see Demyx, Kairi and the others. It was, like, everybody except him, Kairi and Naminé - and Seifer he supposed - had someone to hang onto when the wave of real life hit whereas he just be left drifting on his own, maybe even drowning.

He shook his head, trying to jerk himself out of his depressing thoughts. The bell sounded again as someone else entered and a welcome breeze blew in from outside. Hayner grasped the zipper of his jumper and tugged it down to remove it, feeling that he was starting to sweat, the coffee machines were creating a lot of heat. He heard Olette taking the order of the middle-aged woman who had come in, and started drumming his fingers on the edge of the table. Maybe he'd phone Roxas and Pence later and see if they were up for doing something. Or Pence anyway. Roxas might be too busy with his red haired pervert. At least on Saturday they were going out for Olette's birthday. Oh shit, he didn't have her a present. Yeah, he was definitely calling Pence later. What day was it anyway? Wednesday? Thursday? He looked up at the sound of Olette reaching his table with his coffee. "Thanks 'Lette. Hey, so what's Pence getting you for your birthday?" he asked as she set it down.

She laughed, "I don't know. It's a surprise. But if you really don't know what to get me, I'm out of bubble bath." Hayner had the decency to blush.

"Okay, sorry, it's just… Well, you know me." He took a drink of his coffee, trying to remember what brand of bubble bath Olette preferred.

"Yeah, I do know you," Olette said affectionately and ruffled his hair, "And therefore I don't take it personally." Then her tone changed, "Hayner, your arms are bruised. Someone hurt you." Unfortunately the concern didn't last long, "Oh no, Hayner, you slept with him again, didn't you?!"

"Olette-" he tried. God damn it, he'd taken his jumper off.

"I told you to stop it. God, you never listen-"

"Olette! I never slept with him!"

"Oh, don't lie to me Hayner. I know those bruises are from his hands."

"I didn't!"

"Really? Then get up and jump across this room. In fact don't even jump. Just walk. We'll soon see."

"I didn't."

Olette stormed away, face red. Hayner felt bad, but, he told himself, he hadn't really lied. He had never _slept_ with Seifer. Even when they had sex in Hayner's bed - they never had in Seifer's bed - they never ever fell asleep together. That was too touchy feely. They always left one another, it was sex not cuddles, and that minimised emotional contact or some shit like that, not that there were any emotions to minimise in the first place. Hayner had to wonder why they never had sex in Seifer's bed though, he could only suppose it was like some sacred thing to Seifer. The person he would do in his own bed was the one. Whatever. It was like how picky he got about the hair touching thing. Hayner knew what a lot of people didn't about why he wore that stupid beanie. Seifer didn't like stuff coming into contact with his precious golden locks. Weird, because the first two times they were together - not _together - _he'd definitely run his hands through it and Seifer hadn't said a word. Then one day Hayner had witnessed Fuu pull his beanie off and ruffle his hair and he'd looked like he wanted to throw something. Hayner could only imagine that if it had been someone else he would have. He presumed Fuu had been teasing him about something so maybe in the light-hearted spirit of things the idiot had managed to keep his head. They'd had sex later on and it was the one and only time they'd ever spoken to each other during it. Hayner remembered pulling the beanie off and pressing his fingers into Seifer's scalp. Then he was shouted at and given crystal clear instructions to never fucking touch Seifer's hair ever again if he wanted to keep his balls. Weird, because Seifer had sure seemed to enjoy it before then.

Hayner took another sip of his coffee, revelling in the sweet taste given by the syrup which masked the bitterness given by the beans. It was… quarter to seven, almost. No one else would be up yet. Boredom, unless Pence was up early taking photographs. He would have asked Olette but he was a little scared that she'd just shout some more and possibly hit him. She could be really frightening when she wanted to, and boy she wanted to when she was mad at him over Seifer. Why couldn't she just leave him alone about it? Girls. They always seem to think there has to be meaning behind everything. Couldn't she just except it was purely mindless sex and leave him to it?

Hayner couldn't have been happier when Pence walked into the shop, accompanied by the bell's ringing. His camera was slung round his neck. Did Hayner know his friends or what? Pence leaned over the counter and kissed Olette on the cheek. Olette said something and Pence turned with a surprised look and waved at Hayner. Hayner grinned and waved back as Pence made to come over but had his shirt grasped and was hauled back in by his pissed looking girlfriend. Olette muttered a lot to him very fast. Hayner had a horrible feeling it had something to do with him. He subconsciously crossed his arms over his body, hands wrapping round his arms to hide tell-tale bruises. Pence finally reached Hayner's table a moment later, looking decidedly less cheerful.

"Hey, Pence," Hayner said, gesturing to Pence's camera, "Been taking pictures?"

Pence nodded, "Yeah." Hayner waited. Pence reached for the device, "Do you want to see?"

Hayner figuratively let out a sigh of relief and gave an enthusiastic, "Yeah," as Pence took a seat next to him, grateful that, at least for now, they weren't going to discus Seifer. That didn't stop Hayner pulling his jumper back on, as Pence began moving through shots, just in case.

*

_I've had you so many times  
But somehow I want more  
_

* * *

Ahhh! If you've gotten this far I salute you!


	2. Part 2

Hey! It's Part 2. If you've read the first part and are now proceeding to read the second part, thanks so much! And though I know I've already done it, I just want to say a big thank you to _**Yaoi . Loving**_ **_. Jew _**and _**FinalFallenFantasy**_ for reviewing, that meant a lot guys so thanks.

Okay, there's a lot of swearing in this part, and like all the parts really. I'm not comfortable with it so I thought I'd better warn you, it's just I feel it fits Hayner's mindset. Umm... I suppose this is kind of filler-ish, but it sets up for the next chapter and I also wanted to give all Hayner's gang's views on his predicament. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: I own no part of this except from the plot and I'm sure even it's already been used by someone, somewhere before. I will however own a copy of Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days very soon. It'll be the first time I've ever played a Kingdom Hearts game. I am so excited! Ahem, sorry about that. I also do not own the lyrics used at the start and end.**

* * *

_Tap on my window, knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful  
I know I tend to get so insecure  
It doesn't matter anymore  
**She Will Be Loved **_by **_Maroon 5_**

**_*  
_**

"Um, Hayner…" Pence began, sounding sheepish. Oh here we go.

"Yeah, Pence?" Hayner turned his head to look at his friend, whose cheeks had turned a faint pink. They were walking around town, Pence occasionally taking a photo. They'd left the coffee shop about an hour before, Hayner having not resolved anything with Olette thus her frosty goodbye to Pence and lack of one to him. He hadn't missed the pointed look she shot Pence, and it seemed as though he was now going to hear what that had been about. He could probably have nailed it in one guess.

"Look," Pence said, holding up one hand apologetically. "I know it's not really any of my business," You got that right, "But Olette asked me to have a word," And you just couldn't say no 'cause she's got you whipped.

Hayner sighed, "Okay, Pence. I know what this is about, and why don't you just not waste your breath. Just tell Olette I swore I'd never do it again and she'll be happy."

Pence shook his head, camera swaying slightly around his neck. "But she won't Hayner. I know it seems like she's meddling, but, she just really cares about you. She doesn't want you getting… hurt."

Hayner barked out a laugh. "Hurt? You see, Pence, that's the thing. How am I going to get hurt? It's just sex!" Pence's face reddened furthered and a few heads turned in their direction.

"I… I know," Pence croaked, "But she seems to… to think that… it might not always be that way. And I'm kind of starting to wonder if I agree."

Hayner stared. "What?"

"Look, just," Pence was holding up both hands now, "Don't get overly defensive. I didn't mean anything by it."

Defensive? Why would he get defensive? Only guilty people needed defence. "I'm not gay, Pence!" For fucks sake, why did he sound defensive?!

"I know!" Pence looked scared, "Please don't be mad. It's just, what would it matter if you were? I mean, Roxas…"

Hayner tuned Pence's apologetic rambling out. He was not gay. But, then, like Pence said, what would it matter if he was? There was still no way in hell he'd be after Seifer. But why was that even relevant? Fact is, he _wasn't_ gay. End of story. This thing was Seifer - which was so not a thing - wasn't going anywhere. Period. Why wouldn't anyone listen to him? Why wouldn't anyone believe him when he said that?

"… wouldn't care, and neither would I. We all would love you anyway, Hayner."

"Pence," Hayner stated calmly, "I am not gay. So whatever Olette thinks is happening between me and Seifer, isn't. She needs to remind herself life is not one of her tragic romance novels."

"Okay," Pence said, looking relieved, "Okay. I was just doing like she asked. Honestly, Hayner, she really is only doing it because she cares." Pence faltered, glancing towards him out of the corner of his eye, "She… she thinks you're going to get attached. Actually, she already thinks you're attached…" Hayner opened his mouth to deny any such thing. "…Just in denial." And closed it again, biting his lip.

God, you couldn't win with women. Okay, no, he took that back. That made it sound like he had issues with females. He didn't. He wasn't gay, damn it. Girls were great, he'd dated a few really nice ones in high school. Slept with one or two as well. It had absolutely nothing to do with their gender, that those times hadn't been half as good as those with Seifer. Oh no, no. Scratch that last part.

Hayner forced a grin in Pence's general direction, "You really need to stop listening to the crap she spouts, man."

Pence smiled at little, obviously trying to look comfortable and cheerful, and raised his camera to take a picture of the sky.

"You'd think," Hayner sighed, turning round so he could walk backwards, "She'd be happy I'm not going out and sleeping around. I mean it's alright for some," he inclined his head at Pence who looked away blushing, "In a relationship and all that come's with that, but I'm single. Have been for over three years. That is a long time."

"Yeah," Pence agreed, "And I think that's part of the reason Olette is so worried. I mean, have you tried looking for anyone to date?"

Hayner's brain spun, attempting to find a suitable girl to talk about. Was there really no one? Sure in first year he'd remarked about who was hot, but that was expected with all the new girls around and, really, most of that had been sort of teasing, directed at Pence to wind Olette up. "No, Pence, I haven't," he admitted, then added, "I'm waiting for the right one." Was that a lie? It certainly wasn't the truth, he'd never made a conscious decision to wait for the right girl to magically appear. Why hadn't he been out with anyone in three years? Enough girls had flirted with him, he had flirted back, right? Urgh, why the hell couldn't everyone just leave him alone?

Pence was quiet, seeming to accept that as a good enough reason. It wasn't for Hayner, however. He had been single for three years, for most of which he'd been having sex with Seifer. Why hadn't he felt the need to date someone in all that time? How was it only now he was realising how long he'd been alone for. But, as far as he knew, Seifer hadn't been with anyone either. Maybe there wasn't an issue. Maybe he was overreacting like Olette was. Then again-

He turned round again, pressing his hands to his temples. Being up early sucked, he decided. It gave you way too much time to think.

"Let's talk about something else, Pence," Hayner said, a pleading tone entering his voice, "Like… what are you getting Olette for her birthday?"

A small smile flitted across the photographers face, "I'm not telling. It's a surprise."

"Oh come on, Pence," Hayner put on his best whiney voice, "You can trust me."

Pence snorted, "Hayner, you are the worst secret keeper on this earth."

Hayner kept his mouth shut and waited, before Pence bobbed his head from side to side and then amended, "Except form Demyx. And possibly Axel, but he does it on purpose."

"Please," Hayner pleaded, clasping his hands together.

"No." Hayner gave up, knowing a lost cause.

"Well, what's Roxas getting her?"

Pence thought for a moment, before recollection lit up in his eyes, "Chocolates and that CD she's after."

"Did he have to ask?"

Pence laughed and shook his head, "No, 'cause he actually listens and pays attention to what she likes."

Hayner frowned and crossed his arms, "It's not my fault, you know? I just… forget these things. And anyway, I bet Riku and Sora won't be able to think of anything. Demyx certainly won't."

Pence rolled his eyes and took a couple more photos, "Riku and Sora have Kairi and Demyx has Zexion. They'll be fine and they're allowed to ask for help. She's probably not even expecting more than a card from them anyway. You, on the other hand, are one of her _best_ friends. You're supposed to know this stuff."

"Humph," Hayner huffed, "Doesn't matter, anyway. She's mad at me."

Pence lowered his camera and looked over, one eyebrow stretching high, "And you think not getting her anything will make things better?"

Hayner kicked at a pebble on the ground, "No," he stated grumpily, "But at least if I get something she doesn't like, it can't get any worse."

"That," Pence said, starting to click away again, "is what you think."

Hayner sent the pebble spinning away from him. It was stupid Olette being mad at him over something that didn't concern her. That wasn't the way she saw it though. Oh no, anything - even something miniscule and _meaningless_ - which was to do with her friends was automatically her business too.

"She said she wanted some more bubble bath."

Pence nodded but didn't look over or say anything, just continued taking pictures.

Hayner sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. There were a few minutes of silence.

Pence broke them, "Soap 'n' Suds," he stated.

"What?" Hayner looked at him, confused.

"Soap 'n' Suds," Pence repeated, "That's the brand of stuff she likes. Get her the strawberries and cream stuff. It's her favourite. You should probably get her a bath bomb too, that might just redeem you to her."

Hayner sighed, this time in relief, "Thanks, man. Does the big chemists shop stock it?""Yeah," Pence confirmed, "We can stop by if you want? I can make sure you get the right stuff?"

"That would have been good, but I've left my wallet at home."

Pence waved that off, "That's okay. You can pay me back later. I'd rather you get it right. I don't like dealing with a moody Olette any more than you do. And I have to live with her."

Hayner grinned, "Okay, thanks a lot."

They headed in the direction of the shop. Pence tucked his camera away in it's case and made easy, light conversation. God, Hayner was thankful for the change in tone. He could just join in, be swept away in the casualness, chat between two friends, gossip, jokes. When they reached their destination, they pushed their way through the heavy glass doors, Hayner wondering why a store so big were that tight they couldn't fork out for automatic ones. He followed Pence up an escalator to the next floor, and then through aisle after aisle. The place was like a maze. Whenever Hayner went there he just headed straight to the much smaller men's section and bought the same stuff he always did. Razor, foam, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, painkillers, deodorant: done. It was a good job Pence seemed to know his way around. He wondered how many times Pence had been forced to accompany Olette shopping. Was it really such a wonder he didn't want a girlfriend? Finally they reached shelving which had some very brightly coloured products on it and Pence stopped, "Here we are."

Hayner looked at the products warily. Christ, there were hundreds. Thank God Pence had come with him. Pence pointed out Olette's favourite things, Hayner deciding a big bottle of bubble bath, a bath bomb and some sparkly, dissolving glitter shit was necessary, given how mad she was. After they'd paid, or rather Pence had paid, Hayner feeling very guilty and very grateful, Pence said he was going to head home and download his photos to his computer.

They said goodbye and Hayner set off in the direction of the coffee shop, deciding it might be best to try and apologise to Olette where there were lots of witnesses in case she tried to kill him. Why was he apologising to her anyway? It was his life, his fucking body. He wasn't asking her to have sex with Seifer, no-sir-ee. And why did the thought of Olette and Seifer give him this weird stabbing in his chest? Must have inhaled too many fumes at the shop. How Pence could stand to use a bathroom with all this crap in it Hayner did not know. The shop was much busier now at just before nine, the pre-work rush. There were still plenty of empty tables however, so Hayner took a seat and waited until there was no one being served. There was another girl serving with Olette now, very pretty Hayner decided. Ha, in your face Olette. Although… He did think she was pretty, attractive, but he wasn't _attracted_ to her. It was like looking at Riku. Hayner knew that he was good looking but he didn't like him in that way. He imagined that how he looked on this girl's attractiveness would be the same way Olette, Kairi or Naminé would look on it. A small amount of worry tried to set up home in Hayner's brain but he quickly evicted it. It didn't matter, this was just one girl. Maybe she just wasn't his type - what was his type anyway? Blond, this girl had long brown hair. And that would explain why he'd never liked Olette or Kairi in that way. Wait, wasn't Naminé blonde? Yeah, but she was too short. Hadn't he dated a brunette though? Kelsey was definitely a brunette. Okay, no type, but that didn't mean he would be attracted to every girl he met. He was glad when the queue was gone that he could get up and stop thinking, glad that is, until he remembered what he had to do.

Crossing to the counter slowly, he remembered just who's birthday present was hanging off his arm in a white, barely opaque plastic bag. Slipping it down into his hand, held it close to the floor and stood up against the counter. Olette carried on working with the till, less than two feet away from him. He knew she knew he was there.

The other girl turned to him with a smile, "Can I get you anything?" Nope, definitely not attracted.

Hayner shook his head, "No thanks, I'm just here to talk to Olette." The girl nodded and then disappeared into the kitchen of the shop. Olette was still sorting out the change in the till. "Olette," Hayner sighed, "Can I talk to you?"

Olette shrugged but didn't look up, "You are now, aren't you?"

Hayner massaged his left temple, did she really have to be so difficult? "Look 'Lette, I am sorry that it bothers you, but I'm not just going to stop because you want me too."

Olette made eye contact. Hayner blinked a few times, deciding he liked it better when her eyes hadn't been boring straight through into the back of his skull. "You think that's it do you?" she asked, some venom flowing through, "You think I just want you to stop just because?" She shook her head. "Hayner, I'm worried about you."

"'Lette-"

"No, Hayner. I don't want to do this right now. Just go home and think about what I've said, okay? Can you at least do that?"

"I have, 'Lette, and it doesn't change anything."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Hayner." She went back to arranging the money into it's correct compartments.

"Bye, 'Lette," Hayner said, with some dejection and left the coffee shop, hoping that by tomorrow the distance and time would have given Olette a chance to see his point of view because he wasn't going to even look at hers. 'Go home and think about what I've said'? Who did she think she was? She sounded like his mother; 'Go to your room and think about what you've done.' Hayner angrily sucked in a breath and then exhaled. He was going to do exactly the opposite. Well, maybe he would go home, but he wasn't going to give their argument a seconds thought. He'd deal with it tomorrow. Yeah, he'd go home and drop of Olette's present and then… Hayner sighed. He was pretty sure they were out of milk and the bread was mouldy, if the funny blue bits on his toast the day before were anything to go by. It looked like a trip to the supermarket was in order. Damn Seifer. Why couldn't he pull his weight around the place?

*

_I've had you so many times  
But somehow I want more_

_

* * *

_

Stupidly, I feel sad. Those last two lyric lines always hit hard to me. They were sort of what inspired the story. I'd had the idea before, but I have lots of ideas. But then I got Band Hero for Christmas and that is one of the songs on it and I heard those two lines and _had_ to write this.

If you're interested the next part should be up within the week. Saturday, I'd say.

Thanks for reading. I would really appreciate it if you'd let me know what you think. (Or tell me what 358/2 Days is like?!)


	3. Part 3

Part 3! Sorry it's a little late, my friend has been at mine all day. and another friend slept over last night after out big school dance that was supposed to take place before Christmas but got canceled due to snow.

Anyway, on to what you are really here for. Again warnings for swearing and um... sexual situations. This part is longer than the last though part four is considerably shorter.

I just want to thank **_Supporter of Free Love _**and **_FlyinGShadoW1314 _**for reviewing, you guys rock, and **_Yaoi . Loving . Jew _**and **_FinalFallenFantasy _**for reviewing again, thank you guys so much, having regular reviewers is the absoloute best!

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW I GOT 358/2 DAYS AND I LOVE IT. I HAVE NOW OFFICALLY PLAYED A KINGDOM HEARTS GAME!!

* * *

_I drove for miles and miles  
And wound up at your door  
**She Will Be Loved **_by _**Maroon 5**_

*

Hayner woke up to the shrill ringing of his mobile phone. He rolled onto his back with a groan, wishing it was the flat's phone so he could at least hope that Seifer would get it. He rubbed his eyes, trying to rid them of their stickiness and groped blindly with his other hand for his phone. Turning his head to look, he saw the caller ID read 'Roxas'. Sighing he flipped the phone open. "This had better be good, Roxas. It's…" He pulled the phone away from his ear to check the time, "Ten thirty-two. You know I'm still sleeping."

"You sound pretty awake right now," Roxas quipped back, sounding annoyingly awake himself for this time in the morning.

Hayner yawned, "Not by choice, I can tell you that."

"Grow up," Roxas told him, "Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to come over and watch a film. I've got that new one that's out."

Hayner interest was coaxed out of it's bed but there was still one very important thing that had to be known before he made the decision to get out of his, "Will Axel be there?"

"No," Roxas answered, sounding a little disappointed. Hayner wondered if he should be offended that he was second choice, but decided to be mature about it.

"Good, 'cause I do not have any desire to watch you guys snuggle and eat each others faces."

"Do you want me to let you in?" Roxas asked.

"Not if I will have to watch you guys snog. He is out already, right? I'm not going to vomit watching the goodbyes, am I?"

Roxas didn't dignify that comment with an answer. Hayner took his silence as 'Yes, Axel is already out, given why I'm not in bed with him right now.'

"So I'll be round soon, 'kay?"

"Hayner, I'm starting the film in an hour," Roxas warned, "So get your lazy ass up now and get over here."

"Alright," Hayner moaned, "But you better be making popcorn."

Roxas snorted, "See you soon, Hayner."

Hayner hung up and carelessly dropped his phone back onto the bedside cabinet. He pulled himself into a sitting position and rolled his neck and then shoulders. He kind of wanted to just go back to bed and sleep for the rest of the day. He had to go see Olette later. Did not want to. He supposed he'd go and see her at home, he had a feeling their conversation wouldn't be suitable for a public coffee shop. Her shift ended at one, right? Well, he'd go round in the afternoon anyway. Hopefully Pence would be in, even if Olette would probably send him out of the room. Hayner wasn't quite sure he felt it safe to be completely alone with her.

He got up and ran a hand though his hair. Shower? If he was trying to win Olette round, absolutely yes. He headed there taking in that Seifer's door was wide open which meant he wasn't in there and yet there appeared to be no sign of the other man in the apartment. Hayner frowned, not really sure why he was, and closed the bathroom door behind him. He showered quickly, though used some of Seifer's shampoo, hoping that somehow this would improve his chances of getting back in Olette's good books. To late he realised that he now smelled like Seifer and that probably wasn't good as it would only suggest one thing to Olette. He hoped she'd never paid too much attention to what Seifer smelled like. The shampoo did have a nice scent but it wasn't really what Seifer himself smelled like. Seifer's sent was much nicer. No, shut up.

Hayner viciously towelled off his hair and then headed to his room to get dressed. All clean clothes too, just as an extra measure. Then he set off to Roxas and Axel's apartment. It wasn't too far, about twenty minutes, so he made good time, there was no way Roxas would have started the film yet. Hayner thought that was probably an empty threat anyway. He took the stairs to the second floor and then located apartment 138. He had to admit, he was a little jealous that Roxas lived in such a nicer apartment to his. Roxas and Axel's was part of a big complex of many apartment buildings so each one was rather large and most had three double bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a separate kitchen and living room. Compare that to Hayner and Seifer's tiny two single bedroom flat with it's one bathroom and joined kitchen and living room, and Roxas was practically living like royalty. It was just cause he'd shacked up with the pervert, who was four years out of university and actually earning a decent amount of money.

He knocked on the door and a moment later Roxas was pulling it open. "Managed to get up then?"

"Shut up," Hayner grumbled and walked inside past him.

They both went to the kitchen, Roxas then stretching up to pull popcorn kernels down from one of the cabinets. "I bet you really are only with Axel 'cause he can reach all the high stuff, shorty," Hayner teased as Roxas reached back up, barely managing to grab the bag of sugar and get it down.

"Do you want popcorn or not?"

Hayner grinned, "So where is the lanky pervert away?"

Roxas shook his head and frowned, "I wish you two would stop mocking one another. He's gone to see his boss."

"Why? 'S he getting fired?" Hayner joked.

"No. He might… well we're not sure, but he might be getting promoted."

Hayner grinned and said, "Good for him. Does that mean he gets to blow up more stuff now?" but something bothered him about what Roxas had said. It… it might have been the 'we'. Was he jealous? That was sort of what it felt like. Maybe he wanted what Roxas and everybody else seemed to have. _Someone_. Someone that made everything go from 'I' to 'we'. Where everything was joint and you weren't alone. You had somebody to cling to and… And since when was he looking for that? He was happy wasn't he? He had best friends and good friends and university and Seifer - no, he didn't _have_ Seifer, but he didn't _want_ him so what did that matter?

Roxas was looking at him. Hayner realised he'd drifted off. "Hey, are you okay?" Roxas asked, concerned.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Hayner smiled, hoping the sad tinge that had entered his day would go away with the help of some popcorn and a good film. "So, are we firing up this popcorn machine?"

Roxas nodded and plugged the appliance into a socket and turned it on to start heating up, before measuring out a heap of kernels. "Spoke to Pence yesterday," Roxas started, and Hayner knew where he was going to end, "He said Olette's mad at you about Seifer?"

Hayner inclined his head. Was it now everyone's business?

Roxas was quiet for a minute. Then, "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Hayner-"

"Good," he cut Roxas off, sick of absolutely everyone having a go, "'Cause it is my life and I will do what the fuck I want."

"I know," Roxas agreed, "But… just don't give yourself to it - him, Hayner. Don't end up broken because of Seifer."

Hayner couldn't find it within himself to reply. He didn't want to think about what Roxas had said, because something in the words was ringing true with him. And, god, he wasn't sure if he…

"Are you going to see Olette today?"

Hayner watched the some of the kernels in the machine jump into popcorn suddenly, "Yeah. Any advise, man?"

"Listen to her and keep calm. You two in a shouting match will not be a good thing."

Hayner leaned back on the kitchen unit he was stood against, it's edge cutting into the small of his back. "I just wish she'd let me get on with it and stop prying."

"Well, that's 'Lette for you. But she's only trying to help."

"I know," Hayner rubbed his palm over his mouth, starting to dread the visit he'd be making in a few hours.

Once the popcorn was fully popped, spare the odd couple of kernels that were too damn stubborn to be like the rest, they retreated to the living room. Hayner flopped down on the three seater couch, placing the bowl of popcorn on the middle cushion, as Roxas turned the TV on and put the DVD in.

Hayner enjoyed the start of the film, but by the middle he was noticing the underlying love story way too much. By the end he was depressed and glad when it was over. Goddamn it, it would have been an excellent film any other time, but right now, the last thing he needed was the heart wrenching tale of a guy who fell in love with a girl who didn't love him back and was only sleeping with him while the actual guy she loved was away fighting in a war. The film, in Hayner's opinion, needed more of the action scenes it was already peppered with.

Roxas got up and opened the curtains, "Did you like it?"

Hayner couldn't muster the fake enthusiasm to lie so instead he just shrugged and told the sort-of truth, "I liked all the action and stuff. Good plot I suppose, but the love crap was too much for me. More Olette's street that is."

Roxas turned to him, "Speaking of Olette, when are you going to see her?"

"I dunno. Probably after I leave here. Her shift ends at one, right?"

"I think so." Roxas picked up the almost empty popcorn bowl and carried it back to the kitchen. Hayner followed. "You want something right to eat?" Roxas asked, opening the fridge and looking in. It was so much better stocked than his own.

"No, too full of popcorn. A drink wouldn't go amiss though." They sat down at the kitchen table and spoke for awhile, Hayner trying to think of a topic of conversation that would cheer him up. It sucked to be miserable on a day where he was going to have to try and make things up with Olette. It would probably just make him feel worse.

He left Roxas' at quarter past two and took the longer walk to Olette and Pence's. They stayed just ten minutes from his flat but a full half hour from Roxas' given the total opposite directions. Hayner took a deep calming breath before he knocked on the door, genuinely feeling nervous. He relaxed a little when Pence answered it, but peered round him into the apartment carefully. "She's not here," Hayner could hear the grin on Pence's voice.

"Oh," Hayner straightened up a little, not sure whether he was relieved or if it would have been better to get the inevitable argument over and done with.

Pence jerked his head to the side, "Come in."

Hayner did so, asking, "Where's she at?"

Pence sat down on the couch, pulling his laptop onto his lap and continuing working on whatever he had been doing before Hayner's knocked at the door. "She's out with Kairi and Fuu."

"Fuu?" Hayner was surprised. Since when was Olette friends with Fuu? He knew that their terms with Seifer's gang had changed since high school, but still.

"Yeah, Fuu." Pence said.

"I didn't know they were friends," Hayner admitted.

Pence looked up from his computer to grin a slight laugh at him, "Why am I not surprised, Hayner? You knew that her, Seifer and Rai were invited to Olette's birthday dinner didn't you?"

"Yeah," Hayner confirmed. He had known that, but he'd just figured maybe that it had something to do with him and Seifer. Not that there was a him and Seifer but they did live together. Olette. She really was an incredibly friendly, generous girl. He wanted to make things right, but he couldn't agree with her opinion. "When will she be back?"

"Later," Pence told him, "She said she thought about eight."

"Okay, you'll probably see me later then." Hayner sank down into the space beside Pence and leaned over to watch him editing some of the day before's shots. "What should I do?" he asked, getting Pence's advice too.

"I don't know, really. Just try not to get mad. Or at least not very mad."

"I just want to get this sorted before her birthday. It will suck if she's still mad at me then," Hayner said, dejectedly.

"She's not going to hold a grudge," Pence comforted, "I think she just feels that actually getting angry is that last thing she can try to get though to you."

"She doesn't need to get through to me, Pence. There's nothing to get through to," Hayner reminded.

Pence didn't reply.

"Hey, I still owe you from yesterday." Hayner tugged out his wallet and tried to recall the total cost of Olette's gifts.

Pence, obviously taking note of Hayner's thinking, prompted, "It was like twenty-one fifty-something. Might as well just make it twenty."

Hayner pulled three ten notes out of his wallet and handed them over, "Keep the change."

Pence shook his head and tried to hand back one, "Hayner, it's-"

"No, Pence, just take it. I figure I must owe you loads other anyway. And if not, I'm sure I'll be borrowing someday else. In fact," he remembered, "I own Olette for a coffee from yesterday. If you say I've given you the money to give to her maybe she'll go easy on me." Hayner gave a hollow sounding laugh.

Pence nudged him gently with his elbow, "I'm sure it won't be that bad. I'll just be in the next room. All you have to do is scream if she goes for your throat."

Hayner laughed a little more genuinely, "Thanks, Pence." He stood from the couch. "I think I'll leave you in peace to work. I'll be back in like," Hayner glanced at his watch, screwing up one side of his face as he thought.

"Seven hours?" Pence offered.

"Yeah, seven hours. Just enough time for me to call my mum and make some dinner."

"It'll take you seven hours to make dinner?" Pence grinned.

"Hey, a phone call to my mum is like two hours right there. And you don't know how clean the kitchen has to be after I cook. God, Seifer throws a fit if there's so much as a speck of salt on one of the counters." Hayner shook his head, looking exasperated.

Pence's grin widened. "Okay, well, I'll see you after eight then. You know the way out."

"That I do," Hayner headed to the door with a wave.

Once outside he decided he actually should go call his mum, she'd was probably unhappy that he hadn't called in over two weeks. He headed to the park, given it was such a nice, sunny day, and set himself on a bench far enough away from all the screaming kids on the playground. His dad answered the phone so he spoke with him for a while but their conversation didn't last as long as Hayner knew his with his mother's would.

True enough she talked his ear off about the baking she had done on Sunday, after she had chewed him out for not calling sooner. She then proceeded to ask him lots of questions about what he had been doing. Hayner swore talking to his mother was one of the most tiring things you a person could possibly do. She asked about Olette, given her birthday was in two days, and Hayner carefully omitted the fact they weren't on the best of terms right now.

Then she asked him about Seifer. Hayner spent a good while complaining about the last argument they'd had over whose turn it was to clean the toilet and then complained some more. His mum finished up laughing at him and telling him to call again soon, 'sooner than last time'. It was only when Hayner pulled the phone from his ear and saw it was four o'clock and that he had been on the phone for over an hour, was it that he realised he'd spoken at length about Seifer. Did that mean someth- Damn it, Olette, causing him to over analyse everything.

He went home to make himself something to eat, sure to scrub the units and the cooker and the sink afterwards, and then threw himself down on the couch to watch some TV. He couldn't quite relax though, and every so often found himself staring at the clock, watching the hands tick ever closer to eight and twelve. When the clock did read eight o'clock, he used the bathroom and then left the flat, vaguely wondering where Seifer was.

He reached Pence and Olette's for the second time that day, fiddling with the zip on his thin jacket. Olette had to be home now, it was quarter past. He knocked. Olette answered. Hayner was almost pleased to see she looked a lot calmer and happier than the day before, but he knew she might only be trying to appear so. "Hi, Hayner," she greeted with a small smile, which Hayner returned until she called over her shoulder, "Pence! Can you nip to the shop for me. We're nearly out of milk." Pence shuffled out past Hayner, shooting the blond a look he took to read, 'Sorry, man. You're on your own.' Just great.

Hayner came inside and Olette lead him through to the kitchen , telling him to sit down at the table and offering him a cup of coffee or tea, which he declined. No need to prolong his torture. What was he scared of though? This was Olette, she didn't have it in her to be horrible. Completely honest, but never nasty. Was that what he was afraid of? What she was going to say? But she was only going to talk nonsense, because she had it all backwards anyway. He didn't need to be worried. He'd just listen to what she had to say, make things better between them and then leave.

Olette slid into the seat opposite him and his heart rate sped up a little. "Okay, first off, Hayner. I want to say I'm sorry for getting angry yesterday. I shouldn't have been. So, I am sorry."

Hayner was a little taken aback, he'd been expecting the shouting match Roxas had told him to avoid. "You know, I'm sorry too. I don't want this to be a fight between us," Hayner told her, hoping the conversation would be much quicker and less painful than he had anticipated.

"Neither do I. Thank you, Hayner."

"So… we're good?" He asked, unsure exactly what was going on. Where was the long lecture?

"Yes, we're good." Olette reached across the table, gesturing for him to come to her. He hugged her back. "I'm only looking out for you," she said quietly.

Once they were both sitting back in their seats Hayner gauged that Olette wasn't finished. "Hayner, I'm worried about you."

"You don't have-"

He was cut off by Olette, "Just let me finish, okay?" Hayner settled back in his seat, expecting this to be a long point. "You're sleeping with the guy you live with and yet you insist you're not gay."

"That's because I'm not!" Hayner protested, sick of Olette persisted in not believing him.

"That may be so," Olette added, "But it seems to me like you're only using that as a reason."

"A reason for what?!"

Olette looked away from Hayner, her gaze directed across the room. "Look at it this way. You say that you have no feelings for Seifer because you're not gay." Hayner nodded slowly, trying to see where she was going with this. "I don't think it's being gay that's bothering you. The real thing is, you can't admit that you are gay, or your only reason is gone."

Hayner shook his head, disbelieving, "Olette, honestly, even if I was gay, I wouldn't like Seifer!"

"Why?"

Hayner bit his lip. Why didn't he like Seifer? Fuck. He was… well, he was a total dick at times but Hayner had learned to live with it. He… Why couldn't he come up with a decent reason?!

"Look, Olette. I just don't, okay?!"

Olette turned and regarded him, looking a little sad. "This isn't going to go down well, Hayner, but I think you need to hear it. I promise I'm only going to say this once."

Hayner inhaled deeply. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. He wished she'd shut up, or talk about something - anything - else. He really didn't need to hear these… these_ lies _about how she thought he felt.

"I've always thought… that maybe you felt something more for Seifer. Even in high school, when you were going out of your way to insist you hated him, you didn't try to avoid him. And after a fight with him, sure you were mad for a while, but, you always seemed to be in a better mood for the rest of the day."

Hayner began to dig his fingernails into his palms, scratching at them, trying to distract himself. He really didn't want to listen, couldn't listen. God, please be quite, Olette. Seifer was… he didn't need the guy, he didn't even want him. Seifer could disappear forever and it wouldn't bother Hayner in the slightest. He wouldn't even be curious enough to wonder where he'd gone. Speaking of which, where had he been all day? Damn, no! Hayner felt like pounding his fists against the table, standing up and screaming, until he couldn't hear anything, couldn't think anything.

Olette seemed oblivious to his inner turmoil and carried on, "You said you'd rather die than live with him, and yet you are and it's not like you're hardly seeing anything of him."

Was this what she wanted? Him to have a mental breakdown in front of her? 'Cause he could feel one coming on.

"Hayner, you want more than just sex, whether you're willing to admit it to yourself or not."

"Olette," Hayner croaked, almost pleading.

She was staring straight at him, as if hoping she'd be able to read the truth - even though it was not the truth - in his eyes. "I've seen how you look when you talk about him. Even when you're complaining, it's like you're exasperated about something your _boyfriend_ has done."

"Olette, please." Couldn't she just stop? She'd said enough. He'd didn't, that wasn't how he felt about Seifer. She was wrong. She had to be.

"What's going to happen when you finally admit what you want?" Olette asked. Hayner had no answer. He wasn't as sure as he wanted to be that the question wasn't relevant. "What if he doesn't want the same thing?" Hayner turned his head away. His throat felt funny, oddly constricted. He couldn't have said anything even if he'd been able to think of something.

"What if it is just sex to Seifer?"

Shut up, Olette. Please, just shut up. Hayner could not listen anymore. He was going to - He was going to do something if he sat there any longer. He didn't know what and he didn't want to find out. He swallowed thickly, "Olette, I'm… I'm going to go. You've said what you wanted to say. And I don't know how to convince you that you're wrong." Why did he feel like, maybe, he couldn't convince himself anymore? "I'm glad we're not fighting. I'll see you on Saturday, for your birthday."

Olette watched him leave, uttering only a sad sounding "Bye, Hayner."

Even outside with a nice breeze and the cool darkness settling all around, he still couldn't think clearly. He was confused and a little angry on the walk home. He was shaking slightly, his breathing shallow. He was sure the wind, though not strong enough, was staring to make his eyes water. They prickled uncomfortably. Olette was _wrong_. She absolutely was. Seifer… Seifer was just his flat-mate. That was all there was to it. They had used to be enemies but they had matured since university started and now they could tolerate each other. That didn't stop him from feeling a tickle of fear every time he thought about Olette's words: 'What if it is just sex to Seifer?' But, so what? Hayner didn't care. He didn't.

He climbed the stairs to the apartment, trying to not allow himself to get angry with Olette. It wasn't her fault what she said had made him feel so bad. He must be tired, or sick, or something, because he shouldn't have been affected this way. Things like that only hurt if they had some truth in them, and they did not.

He unlocked the door and went inside. Seifer was sitting on the couch reading something, TV on in the background. Hayner decided he was going straight to bed. Seifer grunted in greeting, only looking up when Hayner gave no response. "What's wrong with you, lamer?" Hayner crossed the sitting room, feeling Seifer's eyes following him. He hoped Seifer knew his face wasn't red from anything other than the cold. "Hayner?"

He opened his door and then closed it firmly behind him, once inside. He'd go to sleep and he'd feel better in the morning and be able to think back on all the ridiculous things Olette had said and laugh. He stripped to his boxers and crawled into his bed.

A couple of minutes later his door was opened wide, light streaming over him. Seifer didn't say anything, just set the door swinging back to only let a chink of light in. Hayner felt his mattress dip as the taller boy climbed on next to him. Hayner didn't roll over, hoping that if he pretended to be asleep, Seifer would leave him alone. He couldn't deal with this right now. A strong arm snaked over his waist and pulled him round to face Seifer. He contemplated telling Seifer to get out, but then a mouth was covering his, and just kissing and kissing and he decided he would prove Olette wrong. They'd have sex. Just sex. Nothing else. Emotionless.

Seifer's tongue was in his mouth and Hayner tried to ignore how it tasted so good and how Seifer's hands on his bare arms didn't turn him on so much as cause a bubbling sensation to erupt in his stomach. Hayner vaguely wondered if he should try putting his hands under Seifer's beanie, but he didn't want Seifer to stop touching, kissing him - he could have handled the rejection though, easily. A warm hand trailed over his stomach and then slowly pushed it's way into his boxers. Seifer's mouth moved to his jaw, then his neck, kissing, sucking, tongue leaving wet trails. Hayner's hands gripped the older blonds shoulders firmly, breathing heavy.

When Seifer pulled his hand back, he didn't try to go any further. They just lay there, one of Seifer's arms around his waist, Hayner's face resting against Seifer's chest. Hayner felt like sleeping and for only a second he thought that maybe they would. Then Seifer was gone from the bed, the room, leaving Hayner to flop over, face into the pillow.

What was he thinking? Just sex, remember? All the heat was gone. He tugged the sheets closer to him, cold. Something he could only identify as disappointment - and he didn't have the strength to tell himself it wasn't - resounded inside his chest. He blinked in the darkness, eyelashes of one eye scratching against the fabric of his pillow case. A single bead of moisture dripped from his eye, down his cheek and was absorbed quickly enough into the pillow that he didn't have to acknowledge it.

*

_I've had you so many times  
But somehow I want more_

_

* * *

_

I hope you liked it! I think it was rather drepressing but I promise Part 4 isn't quite so heavy. It should be up on Wednesday or Friday, depends how much time I have to edit it as I'm trying to write Part 6 right now. And failing.

Thanks so much for reading.


	4. Part 4

Okay, so this is part 4. It's kinda short and a bit of a filler but that's because it was supposed to be attached to the next part, but the next part is quite long and I don't want one hugely long part in a mix of shorter ones. This is a bit more light-hearted too, after the last parts depressive ending. So I hope you like it! Again, warnings for swearing and sexual situations.

And I gotta thank **_Supporter of Free Love, Yaoi . Loving . Jew, poobaoger, FlyinGShadoW1314, Death-of-Penguins-and-Zannah, FinalFallenFantasy _**and**_ SugarCoatedMuffin_** for reviewing! I really appreciate it.

And to **_Pip_** my only anonymous reviewer, thanks so much and I'm really glad you like it!

**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own this. Or the song lyrics used at the start and end.**

* * *

_I don't mind spending evey day  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay a while  
**She Will Be Loved **_by **_Maroon 5_**

*

Hayner stood slumped over a kitchen counter eating his breakfast. They didn't have a dining table, so he was having to make do. He was having to make do with slightly stale bread as well, though toasted it wasn't so bad. It was Saturday. His usually lazy day. Forget Sundays, they were for rushing your homework at eleven o'clock at night when you really should have listened to Olette and Pence and done it earlier. But today was Olette's birthday, and if he wanted to keep things good between them he had to actually get up before four and get ready. In fact, he was pretty sure he still had to wrap her presents. Good job he'd managed to get himself up at half past eleven.

Yesterday, he'd called Olette and Pence's to talk to Pence but Olette had answered. This actually had a positive effect on Hayner mood, however, as although he was a little tense, trying to gauge if things were okay, Olette was perfectly normal, even holding up his conversation with Pence talking to him about some TV program she had watched that she thought was 'completely ludicrous!' He'd still been feeling a little funny in the afternoon, so he'd removed his skateboard from its place in his wardrobe and gone for a ride. It had been awhile since he had and he'd hoped that going out and posing a danger to pedestrians everywhere would cheer him up. It had. Today, he was firmly ignoring the niggling feeling trying to communicate that not everything was alright.

He finished the last mouthful of his toast and dumped his plate in the sink and didn't bother to wipe down the unit, having decided he was going to restore things to how they had been before two days ago between him and Seifer - not that in his opinion they were any different. He figured an argument would be the best way to begin that process. Or maybe that just sex to prove Olette wrong. It had been very strange the other night. Weird, though Hayner was _sure_ there was no meaning behind it. But it was… odd that they hadn't had full sex. That had never happened before. And it scared him, he would admit that to anyone, just maybe not himself. He turned to look at the bathroom door. Seifer was in there taking a shower and Hayner would have bet on the door being unlocked. Was it spiteful to do something Olette wished he'd stop on the morning of her birthday? The phrase 'what you don't know can't hurt you' came to mind. Yeah, it would be a good idea to prove that it was just sex - although if Olette wasn't going to know who was he proving it to? - and Hayner firmly told himself that was his only motivation in this as he headed over to the bathroom, pulling off his shirt and tossing it on the couch. He purposely didn't take note of the way his chest swelled a little in anticipation.

He opened the door and stepped into the steamy room shedding his boxers as he closed the door, steaming up the flat to annoy Seifer was taking it a little to far. Hayner managed to be in the process of opening the shower curtain a little so he could get into the bath before Seifer realised he was not alone. Said male whirled round uttering, "Hayner, what the fuck?" as Hayner tugged the curtain back into place behind him, letting his eyes trail over Seifer's nude and soapy body. He shouldn't have liked the sight so as soon as he felt anything close to attraction entering his mind he reached for Seifer and pressed their mouths together, hoping to be mindless for awhile.

Seifer pulled back a little, looking pissed and swearing, "For fucks sake, I'm trying to wash my hair!" but one arm was already curled round Hayner's back, holding him close and the other was trailing over his chest. Hayner dived forwards, pressing his open mouth to Seifer's and immediately entangling their tongues. Seifer's hands found Hayner's hips and latched his fingers to them hard enough to hurt and Hayner felt Seifer's tongue brush the roof of his mouth before Seifer turned them round and slammed Hayner's back up against the cold tiles, sharp contrast to Seifer's ever boiling water temperature. Seifer ground against him and Hayner's eyes rolled water was pounding all around them, washing away bubbles which had transferred from Seifer's skin to the other blond's. One hand travelled round to Hayner's back and ghosted low over his behind before it was gripping him and pulling him closer as Seifer moved against him. Hayner groaned in unison with Seifer and then all contact was gone other than lips to lips.

Seifer kissed him hard, bruising, and them stepped out the bath, flipping the curtain aside. Hayner leaned against the damp wall, panting, wishing with all his might Seifer would come back and finish what he'd damn started. Wait, he'd started it hadn't he? Hayner swore under his breath and reached for the taps, changing the temperature to much lower than he usually showered under. He was at a loss for understanding why Seifer had left him again. The want in Hayner's body was ridiculously high, need there too that it worried him to think about. Confused him, threatening to send him spiralling back into the horror of the other night.

He fixed his mind elsewhere, on if they had anything that would be suitable as wrapping paper in the flat, what time he was supposed to be at the restaurant and if Olette would kill him if he didn't wear proper trousers. He quickly washed his hair and then got out of the cold water. Pulling a towel down from the rack, he dried himself off and then picked up his boxers and went to his room to get dressed. Once he had done so he removed the bag with Olette's gifts in it from his wardrobe, set them out on the floor and then hoped he wasn't going to have to make a trip to the shops to buy wrapping paper. He exited his room, wracking his brains for anywhere in the apartment that might have the odd bit a wrapping paper hiding.

Seifer was in the kitchen eating his own breakfast and he turned when Hayner closed his bedroom door. "Hayner, is it impossible for you to wash your God damn plate?"

Hayner shook his head, allowing himself to grin that at least this part of his plan seemed to be working and fully pushing any strange feeling about before to the very back of his mind, "Can't you ease up? It's only one dirty plate."

Seifer turned round fully, fists going to his hips, a stance which on him was rather intimidating, "Yeah, and then you make a habit of it and it turns into a pile of dirty dishes, which _I_ either have to wash or I have to kick your ass until you do it. Which of those scenarios seems more likely?"

Hayner took in the scowl on the other man's face and the way his clenched fists made the muscles in his arms tense. He fought to ignore the clenching of his stomach, instead replying, "God, I'll do it later, okay? Calm down."

Seifer's expression didn't relax, "You will do it now."

Hayner threw up his hands and stomped over to the sink, fiercely turning the taps on and managing to spray himself with water. He heard Seifer snicker behind him. Pretending not to have, Hayner bent down and retrieved a sponge and washing up liquid from under the sink. He quickly washed the lone plate, dumped it in the rack to drip dry and turned off the water. He was about to walk away and resume his wrapping paper hunt when Seifer set his empty cereal bowl, spoon and glass down into the sink. "You can wash these too," he commanded with a smirk.

Hayner bristled, "What the hell, Seifer?! They're your dishes. I'm not your maid!" Hayner wasn't sure if he imagined the way Seifer's eyes sparked at the word maid, but his smirk definitely grew. He reached across Hayner to turn the tap back on, his face close enough that Hayner could his feel his breath on his lips. Seifer was looking him directly in the eyes and Hayner's insides squirmed causing him to turn his head away.

Seifer chuckled lightly and moved round to Hayner's other side, picking up the dishtowel, "You wash and I'll dry," he said, smirk still widening as Hayner failed to make any verbal response, instead just picking up the sponge once more. His head was swimming. The lust from the shower he hadn't quite managed to rid himself was back, but why was it presenting in this situation? All Seifer had done was tell him to wash his dishes for him.

"Lamer?" Seifer's voice cut through his jumbled thoughts, "I think that bowl is clean now." Hayner couldn't stop the blush that painted his cheeks as he realised he'd been so caught up in his weird feelings he was still scrubbing at a spotless bowl. He handed it over, deliberately avoiding touching Seifer's fingers and proceeded to wash the glass. Hayner's breathing wasn't as relaxed as it should have been. Seifer was standing close, very close. Hayner glanced over a couple of times, sure their arms were touching when really they were always about one centimetre apart. Hayner's face kept getting redder and Seifer's smirk kept getting bigger, until everything was washed and dried.

Seifer hung the dish towel back over the handle of one of the lower cupboards as Hayner put the spoon, bowl and plate away in their correct places. Then he stretched up to put the glass back. They kept them on the highest shelf in one of the upper cupboards and in his flustered state and with Seifer's eyes on him, Hayner couldn't quite reach. Seifer's hand closed round his raised wrist and tugged it down, his other hand prying his fingers from the glass one at a time, eyes on his face the whole time. Hayner's ears burned and he kept his eyes averted downwards. As soon as Seifer released him, Hayner took several steps back, trying to stop his breathing from going into hyperventilation. They were so changing the shelf they kept the glasses on. Hayner caught his eyes wandering up Seifer's back as the taller man stretched a little to place the glass up.

He turned away, face positively burning. What was going on? He hoped he had a fever, felt like he could do with another cold shower. He was aware of Seifer looking at him. He could imagine that huge smirk was still in place. Was this some twisted new way of messing with him? 'What if it's just sex to Seifer?' Why was that entering his brain just now? He needed to calm down and focus. He still had to wrap Olette's presents with some nonexistent wrapping paper.

He took a, hopefully, calming breath, that shuddered a little on the inhale. He managed to turn toward Seifer, though he couldn't force himself to meet Seifer's gaze. "Do… do you… have any wrap-wrapping paper?" he asked a point on Seifer's shoulder.

Seifer chuckled, "Ever organised, aren't we? I do actually. By the side of my wardrobe." Hayner stood there, unsure what to do as Seifer went to the couch and picked up his coat, before heading to the door, "I'll be back later to make sure you get to the restaurant on time. Don't touch my stuff." And with that he was gone. Leaving Hayner trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

Hayner pushed open the door to Seifer's room and peered in. He didn't know why he was suddenly nervous. It was just another irritating feeling to throw into the mix. He would stamp it out after he had finished pounding the bubble of excitement that had welled in his chest when Seifer had implied he would be going to the restaurant with him. There had to be some other reason for the excitement, obviously, but it was still being eradicated. Seifer's blinds were closed so Hayner had to flick the light on, hoping Seifer didn't class the light switch under the heading of 'my stuff'. Seifer's room was pretty much identical to Hayner's, except the walls were a light blue instead of green and it was rather tidier. Hayner swallowed thickly as he stepped in. Maybe it was all the threats he'd received about not entering the room ever or maybe the whole 'never having sex in Seifer's room' thing or maybe that he'd never been inside it before, but being in Seifer's room both scared and excited Hayner, and he wished it wouldn't. He was beginning to feel marginally sick and his skin felt a little tingly.

He moved over to the wardrobe, trying to keep his eyes from settling on the neatly made bed where Seifer slept every night and was such sacred ground. Hayner had a mental image of alarms going off if he so much as breathed on it. He was clearly not important enough to ever be allowed in that bed. The increase in his sick feeling was _not _resentment at that fact. Standing in front of the wardrobe, Hayner had the urge to look inside. His hand went to the handle. Hadn't he been told expressly not to touch anything? What if something was propped inside and fell out when he opened the door? Then Seifer would know he had been looking in there and he wouldn't live to get to the restaurant.

Hayner looked round the side of the wardrobe and spotted three rolls of wrapping paper, bottom halves in a plastic bag, leaning against the wall. He pulled the shiny red one and the star covered blue one from the bag, the Christmas roll not being suitable. He should leave. Crouching down, he tugged open one of the drawers beneath the main part of the wardrobe, nothing could give him away there. The drawer was Seifer's underwear drawer. Hayner let out a very unmanly shriek and fell backwards onto his bum, dropping the wrapping paper. In under five seconds he had slammed the drawer shut again, snatched the rolls of paper up and bolted from the room.

He dropped the rolls on the floor of his own room and leaning against the door, slightly out of breath, face bright red once more. Breath. In, out, in, out. It was okay, it was fine. It wasn't like it was a girl's underwear or something. He had boxers just like that. He'd seen Roxas and Pence's underwear before. Never bothered him. He rubbed a hand over his eyes, wishing to erase the image of boxers he'd seen on Seifer's half naked body before lying in a drawer, a box of condoms tucked in at the side. His face was hot, hell, his whole body was hot. He had to be coming down with a fever.

Slipping slowly back out his room, he first got a drink of water and then took the scissors from one drawer and the tape from another. He wrapped Olette's presents carefully, having to start over on the bottle twice. By the time he reached for the bath bomb he was fed up and it ended up so badly wrapped it looked like a balled up piece of paper. He hoped Olette would appreciate that he had at least wrapped them himself and not begged Kairi to do it. He put the scissors and tape back, but couldn't face going back in Seifer's room so he left the rolls of paper propped at the side of his own wardrobe.

It was just after two and the restaurant booking was at six so he had around three hours before he needed to get ready and then get there. He went and turned the TV on and then lay down on the couch and tried to get into one of the programs. He couldn't. His mind kept wandering back over the incidents of today and about everything everyone had said to him regarding Seifer. Then his thoughts turned to the man himself. Hayner yawned as an image of Seifer in the boxers he'd seen in the drawer floated up out of his subconscious. Seifer sure looked damn good in them…

*

_I've had you so many times  
But somehow I want more_

_

* * *

_So, I hope you enjoyed that and didn't find it too boring! Next part will be up within the week, revision premiting as I have prelims in two weeks and have done absoloutly no revision as of yet. Oh dear.

Anyway, thanks for reading.


	5. Part 5

Part 5. Which I tried to get to you guys on Friday. And then on Saturday. But for some weird reason the document mananger wouldn't let me upload this. I was so mad. So, I'm very sorry that this is two days later than I wanted it to be, but it wasn't my fault. My computer or the internet or whatever just hates me :(

But this is not a filler. The plot (if that's what it really is) gets moving here. And it's Olette's birthday dinner. The begining was so much fun to write but the restaurant scene was really hard because I had to try and include everyone somehow, even if I really can't write their personalities. Don't think I pulled it off too well, but I hope you'll forgive me.

Just thought I'd let you know that after this, there are two parts left. And the sixth one is kinda short. I'm scared to finish this because it means I have to write the next parter I have planned that I really don't want to do. But, ah well. So yet again warnings for swearing and mentions of sex.

Thank yous to _**Death-of-Penguins-and-Zannah**_, **_Yaoi . Loving . Jew_** and _**FinalFallenFantasy **_for reviewing!

**Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own. _Fan_Fiction guys. Don't own song lyrics either. Which I realise I've been putting in every chapter and not telling you to go listen to it. Go listen to it.**

* * *

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
It's comprimise that moves us along, yeah  
My heart is full and my door's always open  
You come any time you want_**_  
She Will Be Loved _**by **_Maroon 5_**

*

Something touched Hayner's forehead, that much he was aware of. There it was again. Was someone poking him? And why did he get the creeping feeling that someone's face was obnoxiously close to his own? Sleepily, he cracked his eyes open but before he could fully register that, yes, there was indeed someone's face obnoxiously close to his, "Get your fucking lazy ass up, Hayner! We're going to be late!"

Hayner yelped as Seifer stood up straight and strode away laughing to the bathroom. Hayner rubbed his eyes and glanced at his watch. Quarter past five. Huh, well- Oh shit, quarter past five?! Hayner jumped up and bolted for his room. The restaurant was over a twenty minute walk away and he couldn't afford a taxi! He scrambled to change his clothes, the next twenty minutes a blur of pulling on things - before deciding all the girls would deem them inappropriate for a fancy restaurant, pulling on an alternative, throwing Seifer out the bathroom to brush teeth and attempt to tame hair a little and generally panicking.

Hayner was finally pulling his shoes on at twenty-five minutes to six, the only tie he owned slung round his neck as he had no idea how to put the wretched thing on. He tied his laces and then stood, allowing himself a second to breath. Seifer was leaning against the kitchen counter, smirk in place. He had been ready for over ten minutes. Hayner noticed, no longer being in a blind panic, that Seifer cleaned up well. He was wearing black trousers, black shoes and a shirt like Hayner's, but somehow, Hayner mused, not really paying attention where his thoughts were straying, instead of looking like an idiot, Seifer managed to make the outfit look _sexy_, despite the ever-present beanie. The older man had easily managed to put his tie on and had his suit jacket laid next to him on the counter. His shirt was just the right colour to bring out the darker tones in his ey- What the hell was he thinking? Was he a fucking girl? Hayner just knew he was blushing again and, god damn it, he bet Seifer would notice.

Seifer gestured to Hayner's neck, "You gonna put that thing on?" Hayner stared for a moment and then nodded his head jerkily, reaching to pull the tie into position. He fumbled with doing the knot, feeling increasing more stupid under Seifer's gaze. Shaking his head the other male pushed himself off the counter and crossed to stand in front of Hayner. "My God, you are useless," he muttered, reaching forwards and taking the tie from Hayner's hands. Hayner tried to pretend this wasn't happening to him. He was not standing in the living room of his and Seifer's flat having his tie put on for him by none other than Seifer. No, he was not. He wasn't ever so slightly enjoying it. No, he was not. It wasn't feeling _right_. No, it bloody well wasn't. Seifer laughed lightly under his breath. Hayner's eyelids fluttered as Seifer's fingers skimmed over the bare skin at the base of his neck.

When Seifer stepped back, Hayner had to remind himself what was going on, that they were going to be late for Olette's birthday meal if they didn't get a move on. Seifer grabbed his suit jacket, Hayner not taking one as he refused point blank to were a suit one and that fact would only be made more plain if he wore a different jacket. They quickly left the flat.

Two minutes later Hayner was sprinting back along the corridor and throwing himself back inside to retrieve Olette's presents. He reached Seifer no more than two steps further along from the point he'd left him. A trickle of pleasure ran through Hayner. Seifer had waited for him. Of course he was only pleased about that because it meant he hadn't had to run to catch up.

They walked bristly along the street, heading for the apartment. They didn't talk much, aside from Seifer asking what Hayner had bought Olette. When he had told him, Seifer commented that girls were far to obsessed with beauty products, to which Hayner had reminded him of his many shampoos. Seifer deemed them 'necessary' and said it was at least better than not paying enough attention to your appearance. Hayner's mood, which had been fairly high although a little skewed due to much confusion thought the day, took a downturn. Was that quip aimed at him? He knew he didn't particularly care for how he looked but he kept himself clean. He wasn't the best looking but he wasn't downright ugly, was he? He was sure some girls had told him he looked nice and Pence had often complained about having two better looking male friends. His self-confidence had always been at a reasonable level. Why did Seifer's opinion suddenly matter so much to him? Why did it suddenly seem like as long as Seifer approved, it didn't matter what anyone else thought?

Hayner scuffed the toes of his shoes against the sidewalk, watching them. He tried to think of a way to pose a question about how he looked. "So, you saying I don't?" he blurted and then mentally kicked himself.

"Don't what?" Seifer asked.

"Don't pay enough attention to my appearance?" Hayner informed quietly.

Seifer glanced over and then away again, scrunching his nose in distaste, "Well, you don't own any shampoo."

"Yeah, but do I… do I look…" Hayner couldn't ask. He just sounded whiney and stupid. It was only Seifer for crying out loud. So what if the guy thought he was way below average in the looks department?

Seifer turned at the missing end to Hayner's question, gaze fixed in Hayner's direction this time. He slowly ran his eyes down Hayner's form. Hayner could feel his face heating up. It was doing that a lot these days. He really must be coming down with something. Seifer was staring at him, eyes starting their agonising scan back up. Hayner repressed a squirm, he was feeling really exposed and uncomfortable. It defiantly felt like he was being mentally stripped by Seifer. At last Seifer's eyes locked with his. His grin wasn't quite a smirk, it was bordering on a smile. He shrugged, "You look… fine. Olette isn't going to kill you."

Hayner was marginally comforted, still horribly embarrassed. He half wanted to tell Seifer that he didn't mean about what he was wearing and that he didn't care what Olette would think. He meant face and body wise and he wanted _Seifer's_ opinion. But Seifer wouldn't want to know that. Heck, Hayner didn't even want to know that was what he wanted. Silence settled over them once more as they increased their pace.

They reached the restaurant just after six. Seifer entered, stopping to hold the door for Hayner. He barely noticed the gesture as he swept inside, immediately spotting the largest table. Hayner let out a sigh of relief. Almost everyone was there but Sora and Riku appeared to be absent, as - strangely - did Pence. Hayner made his way over. Olette beamed at him before he grabbed her for a hug, "Happy Birthday, 'Lette." He offered her the bag with her presents in it. She shook her head, "I can wait until we get back to the flat. But thank you."

Hayner sat down in the seat opposite Axel who had his arm firmly wrapped round Roxas. Roxas offered him a small smile, while Axel leered at him, "How's it going?"

"I'm good, pervert. You?" Roxas scowled at him.

"Looking forward to getting Roxy alone for some dirty fun." Hayner turned away, disturbed and deciding Axel didn't deserve the congratulations on his promotion he had been going to give, as Roxas promptly shoved Axel's arm away from him.

Hayner spotted Sora bounding inside, closely followed by Riku. Sora skipped over to the table and threw himself at Olette. His shout of "Happy Birthday!" had people looking over and Hayner was very glad he hadn't witnessed Demyx's version. Roxas was shaking his head in Sora's direction, Axel's arm having found it's way to his shoulder's. Seifer slipped into the seat beside him.

Hayner purposely started looking around for Pence, whose coat was slung over the chair to his right, to have someone to talk to. Olette took a seat at the head of the table closest to Hayner and there was a mass scramble as everyone else found seats, Pence suddenly appearing. Hayner engaged him in conversation, trying not to think about how close he was sitting to Seifer at the not quite large enough table for their party of fourteen.

A waitress came over and took everyone's drink order, Kairi insisting Olette have a cocktail as she was the 'Birthday girl'. Hayner couldn't help but notice the way the waitress looked at Seifer and how he smiled at her, no trace of a smirk in sight. Hayner felt put out. She hadn't so much as glanced his way, eyes on her note pad as she took his order. She was obviously interested in Seifer and, maybe, he liked her back. Hayner couldn't see why though, she seemed to be one of those girls that thought batting your eyelashes a lot worked on guys and she wasn't even that pretty. Wait, why was he mad if he wasn't interested in her?

Hayner was glad when an older waiter came round with the menus. He looked over his, picking a starter and then wondering over a main course, until his beer came. To his pleasure the young waitress was no where in sight. Everyone placed their order shortly after all the drinks had been received and then he chatted to Roxas, Pence and Olette, before beginning a loud conversation with Kairi who was seated at the other head of the table.

Unfortunately the waitress returned with two others to deliver the starters and, in Hayner's opinion, made a great show of leaning over Seifer put but his food down, her low cut top not leaving enough to the imagination. It was when she was gone Hayner realised that he'd never had that much interest in staring at girls' cleavage, and he had been rather disgusted on this occasion. Wasn't that uncommon in young males? Well, there always had to be a minority.

Their table was making a lot of noise - Sora, Kairi and Demyx being the main source of it, Axel doing his bit to help out. Hayner's grinned at the look on Olette's face. She was happy to be there with all her friends, alternating between talking to Naminé and Fuu and pretending to be mad at Axel, who'd had the cheek to tell her she was getting old. To Hayner's surprise, Rai was talking to Zexion. He found it a little strange that Seifer and his friends had been almost completely accepted into their large group. A lot had changed during university it seemed. But that was obvious in how he and Seifer were amazingly able to tolerate living together. Hayner thought hard, trying to remember the last time they'd had a proper fight. They certainly had kept their fists to themselves this year, though they had taken to having violent sex whenever they'd had a disagreement that was particularly heated. He couldn't remember when his feelings towards Seifer had changed from extreme hate to… whatever they were now. What they were now was another thing his mind couldn't settle on, although something told him it might have been able to if he would just remove a few mental barriers. _Denial_, his brain muttered to him. He ignored it.

The starter dishes were cleared and another round of drinks brought in. Hayner wondered how Axel had come to have four empty glasses in front of him already. Hayner drank from his second glass of beer, sliding his foot over a couple of inches when Seifer's shoe gently collided with his. The main course was severed shortly after, the awful waitress back again. However this time, she wasn't the one serving Seifer. Hayner smirked as he watched her miserable face as another waitress placed Seifer's meal in front of him without any unnecessary over-bending. That's right, in her face. Hayner received his curry a moment later and started to eat cautiously, it was a strange colour. Luckily he, and everyone else, seemed to like their meal. It would have been easy to presume that Demyx, Sora and Kairi didn't eat anything as they continued to talk non-stop but Hayner noticed when he looked over that someone needed to teach Demyx not to talk with his mouth full and that Sora and Kairi appeared to have magical skills that allowed them to eat and talk at the same time, without actually eating and talking at the same time.

Hayner felt Seifer shift closer to him and paused in raising his fork to his mouth. "Is that any good?" the older blond questioned, inclining his head in the direction of Hayner's plate.

Hayner shrugged, "Yeah, it is." He paused and then added, "You can try it if you like," a little unsure. Seifer nodded but made no move to eat any of the curry. Hayner fidgeted in his seat.

"Well?" Seifer prompted.

"Well, what?" Hayner wondered, brow furrowing.

"Well, you've got some right there," Seifer pointed at Hayner's heaped fork lifted a few inches off the plate, "Are you going to let me try it?"

Hayner held the fork out to Seifer, twisting it slightly so he wasn't grasping all of the handle, wondering what was wrong with Seifer's fork that he couldn't use it. Seifer grinned and then ducked his head. Hayner's eyes widened as he ate from the fork. _His _fork. "Good," Seifer agreed, with a slight nod. Hayner stared, slowly lowering his fork back to his plate. Seifer scooped some of his pasta dish onto his fork and held it in Hayner's direction, "You want to try some of this?"

Hayner's face reddened. He looked away, straight into Axel's face who was smiling evilly. He raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. Hayner jerked his head to the side, only to be faced with Olette's watchful, unreadable gaze. He stood up. "No thanks," He cast back over his shoulder, "I'm going to the bathroom." He headed there quickly, feeling at least three pairs of eyes on his back, of which he knew two of the faces they belonged to were set in a smirk. The men's toilets' door banged shut after him, as he headed to the sinks. The mirrors above them showed him his red tinged cheeks and his flustered expression.

He gripped the basin on either side and leaned over it, trying to level his thoughts. Seifer often did little things that wound him up or embarrassed him, but today he seemed to be going out of his way to hassle him. And one thing Hayner didn't get was that there had been no audience today until now, and most of them hadn't been paying attention. For who's benefit was all this? Plus Hayner felt bothered in a different way. He didn't think Seifer's means had changed much, he had always ordered him around, loomed menacingly close and put him on the spot. The problem was the leaning close hadn't seemed menacing, the tie tying not awkward in the normal way and the eating off his fork? Hayner still felt funny, and it shouldn't have unsettled him that much. If Seifer was a girl Hayner would have liken the actions to flirting. He felt his face heating up more. But that was ridiculous. Because even if Olette was wrong about most things, she was right that it was just be sex to Seifer. It was just sex to _both_ of them. Hayner looked up. His reflection wasn't blushing anymore, it just looked troubled and… sad? Hayner turned on the cold tap, gathered some water in his hands and splashed his face. As he straightened up, face dripping, he heard the bathroom door opening. His breathing hitched.

He caught sight of Axel's fiery hair in the mirror and his heart sank. He wasn't sure who he'd been hoping for but it certainly wasn't the annoying red-head, who happened to have witnessed Hayner's discomfort. Hayner reached for a paper towel and dried himself off. He removed it from his face, and threw it away, to find Axel leaning on the wall beside the door, arms crossed and grinning broadly. He cocked one eyebrow. Not as bad as before but it still threatened that much annoyance was to come. "Getting up close and personal to Seifer, I see," he jeered.

Hayner snorted, hoping it sounded convincing, "Yeah, right."

"Glad to see we agree." Axel pushed off from the wall and took several steps towards him. "I always thought you were interested in more than just swapping bodily fluids with him."

Hayner grimaced at his words. "You don't know shit, Axel," he informed him, "Fuck off."

Axel smirked, Hayner deciding he definitely preferred Seifer's and that he was even willing to admit to that given Axel was such a dick. Hold on, if he was _willing_ to admit to that, was he _unwilling_ to admit to something else?

"I said fuck off!" Hayner reminded angrily as Axel continued to stand and watch him.

Axel walked right up to him and leaned down to whisper in Hayner's ear, "Gotten right under your skin, hasn't he?"

Hayner forcefully shoved Axel away, a creeping sensation starting up his spine at his words and feeling the need to scrub the feel of his breath from the side of his head. He stormed out the bathroom, hearing Axel's laugh. He threw himself back down in his chair, knowing half the table had turned to look. He kept his face angled downwards. The need to kill something was riding fairly high inside him. Roxas leaned across the table a bit, "What's wrong?"

"Your fucking creep of a boyfriend, that's what's wrong!" Hayner spat.

He heard Roxas sigh in frustration and flop back in his seat. "I'll have a word. But you need to leave him alone too."

Hayner opened his mouth to spit that it wasn't his fault Axel was such an ass-hole, but then remembered why they were at the restaurant and sighed too. He turned to Olette and smiled apologetically, trying to pretend he didn't know Seifer was turned in his seat to face him, "Sorry, 'Lette."

She grinned lightly back, "It's fine. It wouldn't be the same if Axel didn't wind someone up to breaking point."

Axel chose that moment to return to the table, patting her on the head as he passed, "How right you are, Olette, my dear." He attempted to grab Roxas and kiss his cheek but the blond expertly dodged his administrations and elbowed him in the gut.

"Sit down and behave, Axel," he commanded, authoritively.

Axel did sit down but Hayner doubted he would exhibit many signs of behaving. Hayner reached for his fork, picked it up and then put it down again, pushing his plate away a little. He really wasn't hungry anymore and his fork had been used by someone else. _Not that you haven't already shared bodily fluids with him_, his brain teased, adopting Axel's tone. He wondered briefly if he was going insane but chose to put it down to lack of sleep. Then he remembered he'd taken a nap earlier in the day. He slumped back in his chair, crossing his arms.

The air beside him moved and next thing he knew Seifer was peering into his eyes, a slight frown in place. "You okay, chicken-wuss?" he asked and Hayner very nearly burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it. Asking someone if they were okay and taking the mock at the same time. Who did Seifer think he was? Winding him up just for fun.

"I'm fine," Hayner said, a little more harshly than he intended, though not as harsh as he felt like being, and broke eye contact. Seifer turned round and joined in Rai and Kairi's conversation. Hayner immediately regretted speaking to him like that and wished a little bit that Seifer would have pried deeper. Or maybe that was what the sadistic bit of his brain that kept bothering him wanted, because for some reason it seemed to think Seifer was the answer to his problems. _Or what you're looking for_, it murmured and Hayner presumed he actually must be going mad. At least that would explain why he had been feeling stranger and stranger lately.

When everyone had finished eating, a waiter approached to ask if anyone would like dessert. Hayner watched as Demyx's and Sora's faces lit up and then dulled after Kairi had insisted that, no, they didn't. They lit up again when she said they were going back to Olette and Pence's for cake. It was like watching someone flick two light bulbs on and off. They really were the biggest kids ever. Pence asked for the cheque and there was a rather loud argument over who would be paying. Hayner could remember when they were kids and was all about seeing how you could wheedle your way out of paying for ice creams that time. Now, however, everyone was insisting they pay for their own. After Pence had been successfully out yelled and everyone's pockets, bar Olette's, were less full, they all left the restaurant, Hayner taking great satisfaction in how the busty waitress stared longingly after Seifer as he passed her without sparing her a glance.

The walk to Olette and Pence's took considerably longer than it should have given there was much jostling about and teasing. Hayner plodded along near the back of the group, swinging the carrier bag with Olette's gifts in it alongside him, surveying the group and not realising he was allowing his eyes to flit over to Seifer's back every couple of seconds. By the time they reached the flat it was almost nine and it was getting pretty dark. They all trudged up the stairs, making plenty of noise, Kairi looking pretty giddy with excitement about the present opening. Everyone piled inside and spread out on the two couches, the bean bag and the floor. Hayner sat on one of the couches next to Roxas and let his head fall back and squeezed his eyes shut when Seifer squished in next to him. What had he done to upset the universe? If he said he was sorry would it stop torturing him?

Kairi bounced over and pushed Olette into the centre of the other couch exclaiming, "Present time!" A collective rustling began as everyone starting pulling out cards and wrapped gifts. "Me first!" Kairi squealed and thrust a gift bag into Olette's hands. Hayner sat back and watched Olette unwrap present after present from their many friends. Pence was flitting about the room, setting up cards once she had read them.

Eventually Hayner handed over his gifts. Olette picked up the wrapped bubble bath and looked towards him with a grin, "Hmm… I wonder what this could be?"

Kairi gasped. "Oh no, he didn't have to ask you again did he?" she asked Olette. The brunette just grinned and Hayner dropped his head into his hands as Kairi rounded on him, "Hayner! That's ridiculous!" There was much laughter in the background. "How long have you known her?" Hayner peered at Kairi through his fingers and chocked back a laugh at the scandalised look on his face.

Olette kindly saved him from Kairi's wrath, "Oh, but look what I got, Kai."

Kairi turned round, squealed with delight at the bubble bath, bath bomb and dissolving bath glitter. "You're off the hook, Hayner!" she called before diving at Olette, shoving her twin away from Olette's side and ogling the products. Hayner turned to Roxas and they both shook their heads.

When, finally, Olette had finished opening everything and the pile on the coffee table had it's last addition added to it, Pence got up from his seat beside Olette. "I'll get mine."

Kairi and Demyx 'Ooooh'ed in unison. Hayner snorted at the same time as Seifer and they both twisted to look at one another. Faces closer than Hayner had expected, he turned away again quickly, feeling foolish. Pence appeared a moment later giving him something else to focus on. He handed Olette a fairly flat, rectangular shaped, wrapped parcel. Hayner took note of how much better the wrapping was than his attempt. Olette took it from him, smiling up at him before Kairi prodded her in the side and she proceeded to tear the paper off. It appeared to be a large book of some sort, but Kairi and Olette's gasps as she turned the cover page told him it had to be much better than any ordinary book. "Oh, Pence. This is wonderful," Olette declared and everyone craned their heads forwards to get a better look. Olette held the book up a bit and Hayner saw it to be a scrapbook like photo album, the first page a collage of many small photo's. Hayner could just see himself grinning out of a few of the shots and he grinned back at them. Pence had done good. Olette loved it and, by the looks of the thickness, the book was full of many, many pictures. Olette turned a page and he could see that it had been captioned as well. He'd have to get a look at it sometime.

Pence cleared his throat and everyone looked over, the happy mutters between Olette, Kairi and Naminé ceasing Hayner noticed that Pence had paled, actually he looked petrified. Then he was sliding his hand into his pocket and moving from the seat beside Olette to kneel in front of her. Hayner was pretty sure his mouth fell open as he realised what was going on. Olette looked uncertain and then surprise sparked in her eyes as Pence withdrew a small red box from his pocket. "Olette," he began, his voice shaking as he opened the little box to reveal a diamond ring, "Will… will you marry me?" Kairi had a hand clamped over her mouth, Naminé watching intently, Demyx leaning so far forward in his seat it looked like he'd fall out and Hayner could see from the corner of his eye Roxas clutching Axel's hand tight.

Olette blinked and then her face split into the happiest smile Hayner had ever seen upon it. "Yes," she said simply, before Kairi's shriek and loud applause, lead by Sora, was all that could be heard as Pence enveloped her in a hug. With difficulty, given Kairi, Naminé and Demyx were clinging to them, he slid the ring onto her finger. He looked immensely relieved and Hayner couldn't believe he had managed to work up the guts to ask without his and Roxas' encouragement.

Once Sora had stopped bouncing around them, Hayner and Roxas pulled themselves off the couch - Hayner feeling the cold on one thigh which had previously been pressed against Seifer's - and fought their way over to the couple. Olette threw her arms round Roxas and Hayner grabbed Pence. He gave him a strong hug, patting him on the back and telling him, "Well done, man. Can't believe you never told us."

Pence grinned, "You and Roxas will both have to make a speech come the wedding. I'm so not picking one best man." Hayner had no chance to express in the most masculine way possible how touched he was as he was wrenched away from Pence by a now teary Olette and crushed to her chest.

"I love you guys!" she exclaimed and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Hayner smiled wide, "Congratulations, you two deserve this." Then he disentangled himself from Olette's upper limbs and gave his place over to Fuu.

Hayner retreated to the now empty couch, flopping down and sighing contentedly before an out of place hollow feeling wormed it's way into his chest. Huh. Everyone was getting together and creating lives for themselves. And he was still on his own. He cursed himself for feeling sorry for himself at a time like this, when he should have been celebrating with his friends. He was extremely pleased for Olette and Pence. They were his best friends and he loved them. But he couldn't help but feel a little down as Pence regained a hold of Olette - having pried her off Axel, Demyx held Zexion's hand, Sora grinned madly at Riku, Fuu leaned slightly against Rai and Axel slipped both arms round Roxas' waist. He was… he was jealous. And he had never fully realised it - or admitted it - before.

He didn't want to be on his own. He really did want someone of his own, someone that he belonged to. He envied his friends and he felt terrible about it but he couldn't help it. He wondered if Kairi, Naminé and Seifer felt the same. He suddenly felt so lonely. He'd felt left out before, when couples had paired off on occasions, but never _lonely_. Seifer thumped down next to him on the couch and the loneliness receded a little before: _What if it's just sex to Seifer? _And it was back at full force, with a sharper, painful edge. He glanced to the side, watching the older male. He sat slumped with one arm draped over the arm rest and gazed at the group of their friends with… was that a wistful look? Hayner felt… he felt something. He liked to think he didn't know what but he had the horrible feeling he did or a least would if he allowed himself to realise it. He wanted a relationship. A proper one. Loving, exciting, caring, fun, _from both sides_. Not made up of rushed sex, harsh kisses, flung insults, the occasional punch and crawling back to your own bed when you wanted to curl up next to someone and_ sleep _with them.

Seifer started to move his head towards him and he looked away. He knew he had to end it. He couldn't decide he wanted a proper relationship and go on having this… whatever it was with Seifer. It wasn't even a casual relationship. It wasn't a _relationship_. Olette had been right, he shouldn't be having sex with Seifer. It would be easy to finish, there was nothing between them. Nothing tying them together. Hayner hadn't given himself to Seifer. He _hadn't_. But he couldn't do it here. He couldn't even be here. Not with everyone so cheerful, while he felt funny, to say the least. Not with Kairi breaking out a bottle of champagne and Riku carrying glasses through. Not with Seifer sitting so close he could _feel_ that he was there, knowing that he was going to break things off, not sure why that thought was making his insides hurt. Or maybe just not letting himself be sure.

Hayner pushed himself up off the couch and headed towards Olette and Pence. He squeezed into the group around them and touched Olette's shoulder. "Hey, guys," he began, apologetically, "I'm really sorry but I think I'm gonna head off. I feel a bit funny."

Olette immediately looked concerned, "Oh, sure that's fine, but are you okay?"

Hayner nodded, "I'm sure it's nothing. I'll probably feel better with some sleep."

Olette nodded and Pence waved. Hayner ducked out past Sora and headed for the door, without attracting anyone's attention except perhaps that of the blond sat on the couch.

Once Hayner was outside he felt worse. Which was ridiculous because he wasn't even faced with what he was jealous of anymore. But he supposed it showed him the full extent of his miserable situation. If he had someone he wouldn't be walking home alone. But he was and it was dark now and cold and he didn't have a jacket. He shivered and thought of all the nice jackets he could have taken with him, even the suit one. If he had someone they might lend them their jacket. Then again he was the male. Girls didn't generally lend their boyfriend their coats. Hayner tried, but he couldn't picture himself lending a jacket to a girlfriend. Frighteningly, he couldn't even picture himself ever having a girlfriend. Looking back on all the girls he'd ever dated, they were not what he was looking for now and even if he had been looking for the same thing at that time, he doubted they would have been right. He hadn't figured out that he wanted a girl, he'd realised he wanted a _person_. And in his terms admitting to wanting a person was pretty much the same as admitting to wanting a boy. And would Olette just stop being right?

He couldn't really picture himself with a guy either, however. Not unless - but he cut himself off, deciding that now he had admitted to himself that he _might_ be gay, he needed another reason. He thought. Hard. Then chose to use Olette's own reasoning until he came up with a better one, the perfect reason as to why he didn't like Seifer. For now 'It's just sex to Seifer' would have to do. But he wasn't going to think about that because for some reason, which he also thought he might know but was keeping from himself, it was making his mood much worse.

He pushed his way through his apartment buildings doors and headed up the stairs, trying to distract himself by making a list of things which would annoy Axel most. All of them seemed to involve Roxas, his _boyfriend_, because, of course, he was what was _important _to the insufferable red-head. He had someone important to him.

Hayner slammed the flat's door behind him and headed straight to his room. He toed off his shoes and removed his clothes, struggling somewhat with the stupid tie. He dragged on a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt and then flicked his light off and got into his empty, single bed. He was glad that he felt so tired, because sleep came to him easily and he didn't have to experience anymore depressing thoughts.

A noise drew him back from the edge of unconsciousness and for a moment he lay there trying to understand why he was awake again. Then he rolled over sleepily. Nothing was there, his room the same as ever. Except he could have sworn he'd closed his door before he'd gone to bed.

*

_I've had you so many times  
But somehow I want more_

_

* * *

_So. I hope you liked it. Hope it was better than the last part. I wish I liked it as much as Part 3 but for some reason every part since that one hasn't seemed up to scratch. I'd like to say Part 6 will be out within the week, the document manager not deciding to ignore me obviously, but I'm not sure because I really should be revising. We'll see. I'll try not to keep you waiting too long.

But thanks for reading!


	6. Part 6

Hey. I'm sorry for the wait, but just under two weeks isn't that bad, right? Right? Anyway, this is Part 6, the second last part. Having major issuses with writing Part 7. I think it knows it's the last one and is purposely giving me problems because it doesn't want to end. Honestly, I don't really want it to end. Partly because I really don't want to have to write the next thing I have planed and partly because I love this so much.

Thank you to my epic reviewers from the last part: _**Death-of-Penguins-and-Zannah, FinalFallenFantsay, poobaoger, Supporter of Free Love, Yaoi . Loving . Jew, FlyinGShadoW1314, BonneNuit, SugarCoatedMuffin **_and_** xacilia**_. You guys are so awsome.

As usual warnings for swearing and mentions of sex.

**Disclaimer: 'Cause I totaly own Kingdom Hearts.**

* * *

_Please don't try so hard to say goodbye  
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye  
(I don't mind spending every day)  
(Out on your corner in the puring rain)_  
_Please don't try so hard to say goodbye  
**She Will Be Loved **_by **_Maroon 5_**

*

When Hayner woke up the next day, he was pretty sure that, no, he had definitely shut his door before he went to bed. Which meant someone had been in or at least opened it. And that someone could only be Seifer. Why was his flatmate looking into his room late at night? That was the sort of thing parents did because they cared; they checked on you. But Seifer didn't care so why had he opened the door? He wasn't trying to mess with him, was he? The thought of Sefier looking in on him in the middle of the night made him feel funny.

Hayner added his confusion to the pile of negative feelings which had remained in place from the night before. Which was disappointing because he had sort of hoped a good sleep would make his life seem a little better. Not that there was anything wrong with it, it just wasn't complete, whole. Hayner didn't feel whole.

Breakfast was quiet, the only sounds chewing and the clink of Seifer's spoon against his bowl. Every sip Hayner took of his juice seemed deafening. He was nervous. Nervous anticipation. He wasn't sure what he was going to say or when he was going to do it. He told himself to do it sooner rather than later, but for some reason wanted to put it off. He didn't want to do it as much as he did. At least Olette would be pleased, it could be an early part of her wedding present.

He wished Seifer would say something to break the extended silence that had stretched from the good mornings. Even an insult would be good. But the older male just sat and ate his cereal. And Hayner sat and ate his toast, averting his eyes from Seifer's face every time he found them directed there.

It was making him wary. Seifer was very quiet, too quiet even for the morning. Did he know what was coming? He couldn't, but did he? Hayner didn't think he'd take it badly, but then again Seifer was unpredictable, volatile. But he didn't _care_ about Hayner so he would be okay. Seifer would just have to find someone else to screw. Hayner felt bitter at that thought, but put it down to the fact that as he was looking for someone right he wouldn't be getting any for awhile. The thought of having to find the right person frightened him. What if he couldn't? Maybe there was just no one for him. And if there was he could easily have already met them and walked on past. He might just never meet them. Or maybe it was about finding someone who fit well enough that you could make do. Hayner didn't want to make do. He wanted _it_. A feeling he'd know when he'd found it, one that he strangely felt he might already know.

Hayner watched as Seifer hauled himself off the couch and headed towards the kitchen sink. He turned to watch him wash his bowl and spoon and then return them to their rightful spots in the cupboards. At least if he'd been ordered to wash up this time it might have started some conversation. Seifer really was very quiet. Hayner hadn't used a plate so there were crumbs all over the counter top he was leaning against and a knife coated in jam just lying there. And yet Seifer merely glanced over and then went to his room. Hayner supposed it was possible seeing the engagement had evoked similar feelings in the taller blond, because, really, he couldn't be as hard hearted as he seemed. Maybe he was facing the same dilemma as him. How to break this off. That would make things even easier. But that thought made Hayner feel worse.

With nothing better to do, he heaved himself into a standing position and dumped the knife and his empty glass into the sink, fully intending to take advantage of Seifer's inattentive mood, before a twinge of guilt prickled at him and he set to washing up with a sigh. Urgh. He hoped he wasn't going to start caring what Seifer thought on a regular basis. No, it would be fine. It was just that right now he knew what Seifer was going through - presuming, that is, that he had decided he wanted to peruse a serious relationship also - and he, being the nice person that he was, had decided not to make Seifer's day any worse. If it turned out Seifer was acting strange for some other reason, Hayner could simply not wash his breakfast plates for the next week to override this one act of kindness he was doing for the guy who had made his life hell ever since he was in kindergarten. He could even leave his dinner one's dirty as well.

Hayner finished up and headed to his own room. Once there, he felt at a loss for what to do. He could have a shower and then get dressed, or just get dressed, but what good would that do him when he had nowhere to go. He'd already spent enough time round Olette and Pence's and Axel was no doubt at home so he couldn't go and see Roxas for fear of just _what_ he might be interrupting. What was more, he didn't feel like doing anything. Except maybe curling up in bed and feeling sorry for himself for a good few hours.

He flopped onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling, tracing the cracks with his eyes. What was he going to say to Seifer? How was he even going to bring the subject up? They'd never really spoken about it before, it was something that just _happened _without much vocal interaction at all. Hayner cringed just thinking about having to broach the subject of sex with the other male. It always surprised him that so long as they ignored it, he never felt awkward around Seifer. Or at least he hadn't until rather recently. Pretty much when Olette started asking questions. But, Hayner figured, that was all down to the fact that he must have been feeling dissatisfied with it for a while before he actually came to realise it. That must have been what the weird, not quite comfortable feeling he'd been having around Seifer had stemmed from.

Hayner averted his eyes down to stare straight ahead at the wall that separated his bedroom from Seifer's. He pictured the other to be doing much the same as he was; lying on his bed, staring into space and wondering what was the best way to put this. Hayner couldn't imagine Seifer being able to come up with a better way than him. He knew this was going to weigh down on him, but he couldn't bring himself to get up and get it over with. He didn't want to have to do only because he didn't know what to say. That feeling of it not being what he wanted was just nerves because he had made up his mind the night before that he wanted to peruse a real relationship, and it was as about as likely that he'd have that with Seifer as the two of them finally getting along.

Hayner laughed quietly at that thought, but with very little humour and a tone somewhat of dejection. He sighed and sat up. He really should go and knock on Seifer's door and do it now. He swung his legs off his bed and stood up, before proceeding to go round his room and pick up all the clothing scattered across it. He told himself he wasn't putting it off, he had a lot of dirty laundry that needed to be washed.

He carted the pile out of his room and over to the tiny closet that held their washing machine. He dumped the clothes into it and started measuring out washing powder, glancing over and seeing that Seifer's door was shut. He sort of hoped that Seifer would go out so that he wouldn't have a chance to speak to him. But only because he didn't know what to say.

Hayner went back to his room and spent the next hour pottering around, moving stuff about and then moving it back, pretending to be tidying, and watching the clock. Time was dragging past. It wasn't his fault he couldn't come up with a plan, he was so used to organising everything together with his friends. He wasn't in the habit of talking to someone about something important without running it by at least one of them first. And he normally spoke to Olette. He was certainly not going to this time. He figured she'd be pleased, but she had such _strange_ ideas about how he felt for Seifer that he couldn't be entirely sure that she wouldn't shout at him about doing the wrong thing, even when he was going to do what she seemed to want.

When he heard the faint chime of the washing machine, signalling the end of it's cycle, he left his room to go and retrieve his now clean clothing. He almost collided with Seifer, too caught up in focusing only on how long it would take his clothes to dry and what he would do to kill that time to notice the other walking straight across his path. Hayner realised at the last second and swerved away, stumbling. Seifer's hand clamped round his forearm, preventing him from falling.

Hayner muttered his thanks and made to walk away, to avoid the command to 'Watch where the hell you're going!' he expected to come. He wasn't expecting Seifer to pull him closer, his other arm snaking up his back to his neck and dragging his face closer to place lips on lips. In the brief second before they met Hayner remembered his resolve to end this and opened his mouth to say something. He never got the chance and it only made it easier for Seifer to get his tongue in his mouth and move it in that way that made it near impossible for Hayner to process even the most basic thoughts such as breath.

He forgot that he shouldn't and instinctively wrapped his arms round Seifer's waist as Seifer released the one he was holding and brought his free arm round to run up under the back of Hayner's shirt. His fingers were hot and they left trails of tingling behind them as they stroked up his back and were then pulled back round to run lightly over the flesh of Hayner's chest, almost tickling and making him gasp into Seifer's mouth. Said man fisted the hair at the back of Hayner's head and tugged it back sharply, their mouths separating. Hayner hissed in pain, water prickling in his eyes before Seifer's mouth was attached to his throat, teeth grazing along the straining tendons, and he was groaning loudly, hands clutching Seifer's shirt and clinging to staying upright, knees drew him even closer, sucking on the skin just above his collar bone.

Hayner managed to pull himself out of his lust-drunk stupor long enough to remind himself he wasn't supposed to want this anymore. He held Seifer's shirt tighter at that thought and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want this, right? He'd been pretty sure five minutes previously. He didn't want this with the blond, he wanted a real relationship. He was going to break this off with Seifer. He was. But telling himself that only made him want Seifer's mouth back on his, kissing and kissing him until he'd forget.

Wrenching his eyes open he tried to speak, "Seif- ahhh, Seifer." It was hard when Seifer's tongue was stroking against his neck like this and one hand was running dangerously close to his nipple. Maybe he could let himself have this, just one last time. It felt good, and he felt better. But this was Seifer and this was exactly hat he had decided to stop. Letting it carry on past his resolve would only make it so much harder to give up.

Hayner released that back of Seifer's shirt and began to draw his hands back into himself, fists clenching as Seifer's thumb grazed a nipple. He lost his train of thought for a moment, allowing Seifer to run his hands lower, one touching at the waistband of his boxers. He managed to gather them again as Seifer's lips left his neck and his lower one brushed along his cheek. Before Seifer could kiss him, Hayner flattened his hands against the other's chest and pushed. Seifer seemed to not notice, craning forward, seeking contact with Hayner's mouth.

It took all of Hayner's willpower to push harder and to gently protest, "Seifer… no." Seifer stilled but didn't move away, hands on Hayner's hip and the back of his neck. He opened his eyes, Hayner averting his downwards, wondering if he would be able to tell how much he didn't want to stop. If Seifer pulled Hayner so much as an inch closer he'd be able to _feel _how much he didn't want to stop. Hayner forced himself to look back up. Seifer raised an eyebrow slightly, questioning, eyes dark and hazy with a lust that Hayner knew was mirrored in his own. "I…" he began, not wanting to finish.

"What?" Seifer asked when he didn't continue, fingers rubbing gently but firmly on Hayner's neck. Hayner wanted to roll his head and groan in pleasure, but instead he repressed that desire and tried to answer. "I don't… we shouldn't do this."

Seifer should have blinked, should have started, should have drawn away, should have done something, but he didn't. "Why?" His eyes never left Hayner's and his fingers continued their rhythmical movement up and down his neck.

Hayner's breathing sped up a little. Why? Well, because he wanted to pursue a serious relationship, but he wasn't going to tell Seifer that and give the elder another reason to laugh at him and poke fun in that sneering way of his. "I just don't think it's a good idea any more," Hayner confessed, that being true as well.

Seifer gave a dry laugh and looked off over Hayner's shoulder, the thumb which had come to rest on Hayner's hip pushing his boxer's waistband off his hip bone. "This was never a good idea."

Hayner pressed his eyes shut and willed himself to come up with a better reason. But he didn't have to. Seifer slowly released him and stepped back. He stood and regarded Hayner for a moment, before turning and walking away.

Hayner exhaled, a feeling of anti-climax settling. He wondered what he'd been expecting. Seifer to beg him not to end this? To kiss him one last time? That only happened in movies and rarely in real relationships where the people involved actually cared about one another, Hayner reminded himself.

Hayner stood in the middle of the room until after Seifer had reached his room and had gone inside and then for a while longer, trying to work out what he had expected to feel after this and if he should have felt more accomplished and satisfied than he did. The sense of being completely alone hung over him. Lonely. He guessed that would about sum up how he felt.

Eventually he headed to his room, even more at a loss for what to do than before. He certainly couldn't go see anyone now, he'd be very bad company. He sat down on his bed. He was confused. It wasn't like he'd expected his life to get immediately better the second he stopped the thing with Seifer. He wasn't that naive and stupidly optimistic. He knew it would take time to sort things out and then even more time to meet someone he liked and to build a relationship. He wasn't automatically going to be guaranteed that he'd be able to hold onto his friends. University wasn't suddenly going to last for a lifetime. All his problems weren't magically going to be solved. He hadn't expected to feel better.

But he hadn't expected to feel worse_. _

_*_

_I've had you so many times  
But somehow I want more_

_

* * *

_

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. I hope you didn't hate it. I hope I actually manage to write the last part.


	7. Part 7

Oh my goodness, it's finished. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Actually, I feel a bit numb. I think I'm just tired. It's nine minutes to one. No now eight minutes. I'm late. I told myself I would have this up on Friday. It is now Saturday. And I am just so very, very soory for the wait I have put everyone through. All I can say is prelims got in the way and I was lazy.

I have a lot of wonderful reviewers to thank. You guys made writing this story so much more rewarding and you made me feel good about it. I can only hope you like this final part. I'm really sorry if it's not up to standard. I hope it is though. I sort of like it. But serious thank you's to: _**FinalfallenFantasy**_, **_Yaoi . Loving . Jew_**,**_ Supporter of Free Love_**, _**FlyinGShadoW1314**_, **_poobaoger_**, **_Death-of-Penguins-and -Zannah_**, **_SugarCoatedMuffin_**, Pip, **_BonneNuit_**, **_xacilia_**, **_Brose_**, Anonymous and **_DeViLaNgEl11_**. Thank you guys so very, very much. I love you all.

This last part has same warnings; swearing and mentions of sex.

I really hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. Don't own the song.**

* * *

_I know where you hide alone in your car  
Know all of the things that make you who you are  
I know that goodbye means nothing at all  
Comes back and begs me to catch her everytime she falls  
**She Will Be Loved **_by _**Maroon 5**_

_***  
**_

Hayner shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and carried on walking despite the rain that had started to fall. He needed this time out of the flat. That made it sound like it had been weeks since he'd gotten out anywhere when in fact it had only been three days. Three days of getting increasingly miserable when he was sure he should have been starting to feel better. Three days of making up excuses to Pence, Roxas and Olette as to why he couldn't do something with them and then just ignoring their calls. Three days of spending as much time as possible in his room to avoid his strangely quiet and sombre flat mate. Hayner had never thought he'd ever admit it but he was actually missing people.

But he wasn't willing to go see his friends and have to explain why he was in such a depressing mood. And he couldn't spend any time with Seifer because the atmosphere between them was weird and uncomfortable, even if they were trying to pretend it wasn't, and Hayner just couldn't face him. He didn't like the clenching in his chest whenever he saw him or the sickening skip of his stomach when the front door opened after Seifer had been out. He didn't know what was wrong with him. God, he'd thought ending things with Seifer would have made him feel better, made his life easier; not complicated things so severely that he no longer knew what he wanted anymore. Because he was still pretty sure that he wanted a proper relationship. Still fairly sure that casual sex and being single was not what he wanted. But whenever he thought about going out into town or for a night out with his friends, to have fun with them and try and meet someone he felt… ill? He didn't know. And not knowing was killing him.

The weather was doing a good job of expressing his feelings for him. Raining when it should have been sunny: miserable when he should have been happier. If only it could just let him know _why_ he was so down. He still felt lonely and yet he couldn't bring himself to do something about it. The idea of finding someone else made him feel worse. And he wasn't sure why he kept thinking of it like that. Someone _else_. Because that was how he said it to himself. And that was wrong because there had never been anyone, so why would there be an _else_. It was weird. He felt like he should know the answer. Felt like maybe he _did_ know it. Just that, perhaps, he wished he didn't.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying partly to rid his hair of some of the water that was clinging to it and partly to make the thoughts go away. They didn't. He kept telling himself he wanted someone. And he did. And yet… and yet he didn't want to look for someone. It wasn't even that he was lazy, which he supposed he was really but this was different. He didn't want to because he felt like that would be giving up, letting go, settling for second best, not getting what he really wanted. It terrified him that the someone he was looking for was maybe a little bit more specific than just anyone and that maybe he had already found them.

He needed something to distract himself. This was the closest he'd ever let himself stray to the forbidden thoughts that were hovering on the outskirts of his conscious mind, waiting… waiting. Part of him, however dormant, was aware that no one had ever infuriated him as much as his life long rival, no one had ever interested him as much as his old high school competition, no one had ever made him smile as wide as his blonde bitch of a flatmate. He'd never wanted anyone as much as he wanted the guy he'd been having sex, but never sleeping, with for a over two years.

No one compared to Seifer.

Hayner stopped in the middle of the street as he finally acknowledged that thought. Then he gasped and choked on what could have been a sigh, a groan, a shout, a scream, a _sob_. He turned left and almost ran in the direction of Olette and Pence's. He didn't bother knocking, just fumbled in his pocket for his keys and shoved the spare one he had in the lock and stumbled inside, not sane enough at that point to be grateful the chain hadn't been on.

The living room was empty but Olette stepped back in the kitchen and looked out the archway between the two rooms. He saw her face change in surprise, "Hayner?"

He headed into the kitchen. Pence was sitting at the kitchen table, across from Roxas. He wasn't sure if he was glad they were all there or not. But at least this way he wouldn't have to explain things multiple times. If he was even able to explain it once. No one said anything for a moment, they seemed to know that something wasn't right, but then Olette opened her mouth and Hayner knew if she asked him if something was wrong he would lie and they'd sit in the kitchen and joke around for a couple of hours and then he'd grin and say he had to go and then he would and he'd get back to the flat and break down. And he couldn't let Seifer see that. So before Olette could say anything he told them what he'd done. "I told Seifer we couldn't have sex anymore."

He half wanted Olette to smile and be pleased, that way he would be forced to ignore his feelings and move on. Or try to. But Olette didn't smile. She just looked at him, questioning and concerned and surprised, and when Hayner turned to Pence and Roxas they looked the same. Then Roxas asked, "When?"

"Sunday," Hayner replied.

The silence returned, they appeared to be processing what he had said. "Hayner, how do you feel?" Olette finally asked and Hayner accepted that she clearly did know him better than she should.

He shook his head, unsure how to answer, not even sure if he could answer. "Is this what you want?" Olette questioned.

Hayner sighed and sunk into an empty seat at the table and stared at the surface, unable to make eye contact with anyone. He swallowed. "I don't know. I… I don't think so."

Olette took the seat opposite him and looked down, trying to meet his gaze. She was smiling gently. He turned his head to the side and folded his arms. "Well," Olette began, "Do you want to keep sleeping with him?"

Hayner scrunched his forehead, angry at her assumptions, her choice of words. "I keep telling you!" He burst out, turning to face her, "I was never sleeping with him!" Pence reeled back a little startled but Olette tried to say something, seemingly realising her mistake. Hayner didn't let her. "Sure, we'd fuck, sometimes even in bed, but then he'd bugger off and I'd sleep on my own! He fucking never slept with me, Olette! He…" Hayner trailed off, anger leaving him. "He never did." And that hurt. He slumped over the table, bringing his arms up to lay his head down on them.

"So you want to sleep with him?" Roxas asked.

Hayner grunted in frustration, "I don't know." Then he sat up again. "I mean, come on guys, it's _Seifer_. That stupid bastard. Made our lives a living hell, remember? Seifer. My God, _Seifer_. What the hell was I thinking when I started this?!" Fucking wasn't thinking. Hayner didn't know what to do, what to say, what to _think_. They didn't understand, they couldn't. Even he didn't. "I… I don't get it. I hate him. Hate his guts. He bullied me, he still does. Fucking makes me feel like an idiot the whole time."

"But you guys are _friends _now," Pence cut in.

Hayner smacked his fist on the table. "No we're not. He's an asshole. Makes fun of me the whole time, he does. Winds me just 'cause he can. Pisses me off."

"Sounds a bit like Axel," Roxas stated, but his eyebrow was raised in a way that told Hayner it was really a point for him to consider.

Hayner sighed again and slumped back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't feel different about him, guys," he told them quietly. "My feelings haven't changed. Sure, we can put up with each other a little better now, but I don't feel differently towards him."

"What do you mean, Hayner?" Olette murmured, "You hate him? Because that's what you always used to say."

He squeezed his eyes shut and ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know." He didn't hate Seifer. He knew he didn't. "Maybe I never did hate him," he suggested, "I hated what he did to me, to us, how he acted and how he was always so much _better_ than me. But I don't think I ever hated _him_."

Hayner heard someone shift to sit forward in their seat and then Pence spoke, "It's not a bad thing that you don't hate him, you know? Seifer's a good guy really."

"And we're not kids anymore," Olette put in, "We don't have to hate them just because we used to fight when we were younger. I really like Fuu, she'd actually a very nice person. It's okay for us to like them."

Hayner bit his lip. He wasn't sure if he wanted to allow himself to accept this. Accept that he liked Seifer, that there was even part of him that might _like_ Seifer. Did he like Seifer? Really? More than just thinking he was attractive? Their relationship was very physical and Hayner wasn't sure they'd be good at dealing with each others feelings. But, then again, Seifer always seemed to know when something was wrong. He always had been able to read Hayner so very well, he used to manipulate that fact very much to his benefit back when they were enemies. And it wasn't like they didn't talk. Maybe not about important stuff, but many a night they had spent up late watching crap television and speaking about anything and everything.

Hayner felt like they _knew_ each other. It was a strange feeling because he had always thought that no one would know him better than his three best friends he was with at that very moment. But Seifer had always know him. They'd always been in each others lives. It should have worried Hayner that he couldn't identify the point in his life when he started to see Seifer as more than just a bully, thus suggesting that he had possibly always liked him. But it sort of didn't. Maybe he'd always known Olette was right.

Should he tell her he thought that she was right? They seemed to know that his feelings for Seifer were more than he had kept insisting but he didn't know if he was ready to admit that out loud, whatever the case. Hayner had thought he was looking for a real relationship and so he had to end the thing with Seifer. And he had been right. But he had been wrong in thinking that he needed to find someone he liked, because he already had them. Or knew them, at least, because he had never really _had_ Seifer, and Hayner feared that he might never.

He rubbed his hand across his face, Olette's, Pence's and Roxas' eyes on him, feeling more than a little overwhelmed at how quickly everything a person thought about their life could change. In under an hour he had suddenly discovered that he had feelings for _Seifer_ of all people and his main concern now was that Seifer would never return those feelings. He looked up, shaking his head slightly. "I think…" he said slowly, unsure whether to make eye contact with any of them or not, "I think I like him."

Olette didn't react, but Pence's eyebrows raised a little and Roxas gave a slight nod and exhaled. Hayner hardly noticed. Seifer. He liked Seifer. He tried to stop the thought that he might _really_ like him from entering his mind but couldn't. All the walls holding out his true feelings must now have been demolished. He wasn't sure what to say to his friends now or what to do. What could he do? He'd just finished things with Seifer and they hadn't even been real so it wasn't like he could just try and get it back to the way it was.

He looked to Olette, hoping she'd be able to tell him what to do. "Hayner," she began, "What do you want to do?" Huh. Well that was so helpful.

He sighed and squeezed at his temples, "Well what can I do?"

"Tell him?" Pence offered, unsure.

Hayner let out a snort of humourless laughter. "I don't think so," he said, dejection accidentally seeping into his tone. "Like you said," he nodded to Olette, "It was just sex to him."

"I said it might only be sex to him," Olette corrected, "Not that it definitely was." Hayner didn't listen to her, however. Just the thought of it hurt more than he could ever have imagined. He knew now why he had felt so strange when Olette had said that to him, but that didn't lessen the painful effect that the possible fact had on him. Because it most likely was a fact. Hayner didn't know if Seifer was gay but that hardly mattered because he couldn't imagine his roommate ever wanting him in that way, anyway. Seifer was so much better than him. Stronger, funnier, better looking, smarter. And he had always made it quite clear that he knew that, knew that Hayner was not worth anything.

"Hayner," Olette started.

He cut her off with a groan and let his head fall into his hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

"It'll be okay." Hayner had to bite back the sarcastic retort he wanted to spit at Roxas. Some great advice he was giving. It was unlike Roxas to be optimistic about anything, though, so Hayner was surprised when he went on, "It will work out however it's supposed to."

Hayner tried not to feel exasperated, "But that doesn't do me much good in the meantime, does it? Doesn't tell me what I'm supposed to do."

He looked up to find Roxas just shrugging. Olette reached across the table and took his hand, "Just do whatever feels right."

Hayner smiled helplessly at her, "You can't think of anything? You have nothing to say about it?"

"Hayner this is about you, not me. And you aren't trying to get Seifer to like me, you want him to like you so it needs to be you actions and your words."

Hayner choked a little, "I - I can't _tell_ him."

"And why not?" Olette asked, waving her free hand out to the side, "The absolute worst that could happen is he doesn't feel the same and laughs at you."

"And to be honest," Pence put in, "He'll probably laugh at you anyway, even if he does like you back."

Hayner scowled. Real nice of Pence. He felt so much better now. Olette squeezed his hand, "I'm glad you finally realised what was going on in your head. And I'm sorry I was so pushy about it before, but I hope that now you can see why."

Hayner nodded at her and replied, "Yeah, I can. And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. If I had this might have been sorted out sooner, or maybe I would never have… have properly fallen for him." Hayner looked away from Olette's sad smile and took his hand from hers, standing up. "I think I better get back. I have no idea what I'm going to do," he admitted out loud.

"Whatever happens you'll do the right thing, Olette assured him as he headed for the living room. Just as he stepped in he turned back, "Guys, thanks." He was answered by two kind smiles and Roxas' gentle gaze.

He headed back to the apartment. Nervous no matter what he tried to tell himself. The thought of seeing Seifer after what he had now realised made him feel sick. He did not know what to do. He really didn't. He couldn't tell him, that much he was almost certain of. He didn't think he had the guts to do that. He had never been so scared of rejection in his life. Sure, he'd been nervous before but never had he ever cared this much. Actually, when he thought about it, he had always cared what Seifer thought of him, probably more than what anyone else thought. That was a big part of what had kept their rivalry going, he supposed.

When he reached the apartment door he had to stop for a moment and breath before he could work up the nerve to grasp the handle and open it. He stepped inside, swallowing and trying to keep his breathing steady. His chest constricted a little painfully when he caught sight of Seifer sitting on the couch. He turned his head to Hayner and nodded in greeting. Hayner managed to shut the door behind him, remove his shoes and head over to sit at the opposite side of the couch.

It was hard to keep his eyes on the television and not let them stray to watching Seifer. Hayner hated the awkwardness in the air. He wanted it gone, even if things just had to go back to how they had been before, minus the sex. "So," Hayner tried to break the silence between them, "How… how was your day?"

Hayner saw Seifer shrug before the older blond muttered, "Fine. Your's?"

"Alright," Hayner replied.

The conversation died. Hayner couldn't think of anything else to say and Seifer didn't offer anything. Time trickled past. Hayner wasn't sure what he was still doing in the living room. He wasn't really watching the television at all and Seifer seemed to be ignoring him. He swallowed nervously and licked his lips. He desperately wanted to say something, anything to the other male. To fix this or at least make things better. And being this close to Seifer was painful. Hayner could stretch out an arm and lay his hand on Seifer's shoulder. But he shouldn't because of how things were between them. He was starting to realise just how very attractive Seifer was. With his strong frame and clear eyes. And the blond hair hidden beneath that wretched beanie that Hayner knew first hand was soft to the touch. Hayner hadn't touched, hadn't kissed Seifer in three days, which was actually a long time for them. And he probably wouldn't ever again. That killed him. It made his windpipe shrink and his breath come in a quiet gasp. He was in too deep.

When the programs on the television were long past becoming night-time junk, Seifer got to his feet and headed to his room with only at muttered, "Goodnight," cast back over his shoulder at Hayner. Hayner waited until he heard Seifer's bedroom door click shut before he replied with a whispered, "Night." Then he too got up and headed to his own room.

He sat at his desk for a while, listening to Seifer's quiet footsteps, then the sound of him leaving his room and going to the bathroom and then the silence of Seifer having gone to bed. Hayner had a thought. He guessed he'd he was probably being stupid and that maybe things would get better with time, just like everyone said. But they'd never be right, never be how Hayner wanted them to be. Because Hayner wanted Seifer, and that just couldn't happen.

They had a whole year left of University. That had recently started to feel like such a short period to Hayner, but now it seemed like forever. Forever of being with Seifer but never being _with_ him. Forever of having to wait out the weird air between them and hope it passed; of being the subject of all Seifer's jokes and tormenting and wishing to be more; of Seifer having someone else that he would bring home to the flat and sleep with in his bed. Hayner wasn't sure he could cope with that. Being Seifer's flat mate had been stressful enough when they didn't get on, but now that Hayner liked him, wanted him, it would be worse. Much worse, Hayner was sure of it. He didn't want to suffer that, and maybe if he didn't have to see Seifer so much then he'd get over him. He'd accidentally fallen for him without even realising it, and that might have been due to the close proximity they were always in, so maybe if he was away from him he could move on without much effort and everything would be okay. Not like how it was now.

Hayner stood up and tried to think for a moment, but all that would come to mind was the sleeping blond who lay in the next room and would never, could never want him. He dragged his duffle bag out of the wardrobe and started stuffing in his clothes. Maybe he was being rash, unreasonable. Maybe he should wait some time and see how things turned out. Maybe he should wait until it was daytime and not nearing one o'clock in the morning. But Hayner felt like this couldn't wait. He needed to get away, get out before he was dragged under and couldn't see past Seifer. He didn't know just how deep his feelings ran but he could only hope he wasn't past the stage of turning back. He needed to leave, he had to.

This was Seifer. The very same Seifer who had picked on him his whole life, teased him and ridiculed him and would do worse than that if he realised how Hayner really felt about him. Pence was right, Seifer would laugh, because Olette was right that it was only sex to Seifer. It had never meant anything to him. Hayner didn't mean anything to him. He'd probably even be glad that he was leaving. At least he wouldn't have to constantly nag Hayner to clean up the kitchen. And he'd easily find a new flat mate. Hayner was so very easily replaced.

He crossed to his desk and pushed all his books into the bag, along with his laptop and some spare pens. He didn't know where he was going to go. He wasn't sure Olette and Pence's was a good idea because Olette wouldn't understand, she'd think he was being silly and tell him to go back and try and work things out with Seifer. She wouldn't understand that Hayner simply couldn't take having him within reach but not being able to be close to him. He could not go to Roxas, because going to Roxas meant going to Axel and the last person Hayner wanted to see right now was that stupid red-head who unfortunately seemed to be able to clearly see how much he wanted Seifer. He didn't want to think about Seifer, he wanted to forget about him, and Axel wouldn't let him.

Maybe Kairi would take him in. She and Naminé had a big enough apartment and a very nice couch. And they wouldn't ask too many questions. Naminé would just be quietly concerned and Kairi would distract him if that was what he wanted. But it was almost one in the morning and that was a ridiculous time to turn up anywhere asking for a place to stay.

Hayner sank back onto the chair beside his desk and stared at his bulging bag. All he knew was that he couldn't stay with Seifer. He slowly picked up everything from the floor of his room and packed it into the bag to and then proceeded to the bathroom to gather his things from there. It didn't take long to find what little toiletries he had, finishing by removing his tooth brush from its place in the cup with Seifer's. He set his fully packed bag by the front door.

He knew if he waited until the morning he'd never leave. Everything would probably seem better the next day and if not someone would talk him out of leaving. And then in the long run he'd regret not getting out while he had felt like he could because he'd be trapped in his never returned affections for Seifer. This was ridiculous. He should just go, just get out right now. He moved to get his shoes. Perhaps he should just let Seifer know what was going on. So he wouldn't worry. Not that he would, but just in case. Or more like so he didn't have to see him later to give some lame excuse for moving out, that might hinder the process of moving on. He walked over and opened the door quietly.

It was dark in Seifer's room but Hayner could make out the lump in the bed opposite the door roll over at the sound of him entering. Seifer propped himself up on his elbow and looked over, wiping at his eyes, "Lamer?" Hayner took a few steps into the room, pushing the door back a little so as to let less of the light that was blinding Seifer in.

"Um…" Hell if he knew what to say. How did you tell someone you were moving out without evoking questions or making the person feel like it was their fault? Well, it had a lot to do with Seifer so maybe that didn't matter so much.

"What is it, Hayner?" Seifer asked, a little groggy.

"I'm…" Hayner fumbled for the right words, "I'm gonna… move out."

Seifer sat up a little straighter. "What?" he sounded confused, a little shocked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm not going to live here anymore," Hayner clarified.

He saw Seifer shake his head slightly. "Why?" he asked and Hayner could hear the disapproving tone entering his voice, but then it softened, "C'mere."

Hayner hesitated for a second - was it really such a good idea for him to approach Seifer? - but then walked over. What could he say, he was weak.

Hayner stopped just short of the bed and waited for Seifer to speak. Seifer pulled himself up into a fully sitting position and then spoke, "Look, don't be stupid, you don't need to move out."

"But I think I would be better if I did," Hayner argued, "I don't think it's a good idea-"

Seifer reached out and grasped his wrist, tugging him forwards. Hayner's knees hit the bed and he stumbled a little falling against Seifer who pulled him down further and kissed him. Hayner didn't even try and stop it. The feeling, taste of Seifer's mouth against his was just too perfect. He'd missed it, desired it so very much and it was just _better_ than he could remember or imagine. Seifer's arm was soon round his waist, dragging him to get onto the bed on his knees.

As soon as he was settled Seifer was working at removing his jumper. Hayner didn't move his hands at all, kept them still on the mattress, supporting him as his mouth moved furiously against Seifer. A small portion of doubt had crept up, enough to stop him from attempting to go any further, but no where near enough to cause him to want to stop kissing Seifer. He never wanted to stop. Seifer was pushing his jumper off his shoulders and he squirmed and lifted his hands enough to allow Seifer to tug it off and drop it to the floor.

Instantly Seifer's warm hands were creeping up his bare sides beneath his shirt. Goosebumps flared up Hayner's arms and he felt a little light headed as Seifer sucked his lower lip into his mouth and kneaded at it gently with his teeth. Hayner couldn't stop himself from raising his arms and tangling his hands in Seifer's hair. God, he wanted this. He wanted Seifer so badly it was near impossible to think. And Seifer's hands were still slowly making there way up his sides, touching lightly, almost tickling in a way that Hayner wanted to pull away from but simply couldn't from fear that the loss of contact with Seifer would kill him. Seifer bit down harder on his lip and he fisted his hands, tugging at Seifer's hair.

A low groan escaped Seifer's throat and Hayner was suddenly aware of exactly where his hands were. He pulled back sharply, tearing his hands away. "Sorry," he burst out.

Seifer looked at him, his eyes hazy, seemingly confused. Hayner waved his hands a little, in front of him, as an explanation and uttered a slightly terrified, "Your hair."

Comprehension spread over Seifer's face and his hands, which had come down to rest on Hayner's hips, immediately sprang back into action, stroking his chest and pulling him nearer. "I don't mind," Seifer breathed, voice a little hoarse, then his lips descended on Hayner's neck, before speaking again, "With you… I don't care. I never cared." And then his mouth was back on Hayner's, lips working slower, stronger and his tongue pushing it's way into Hayner's mouth. Hayner could feel himself close to becoming lost in the feeling of Seifer close to him, touching him, but the confusion that had entered his mind stopped him.

What? Seifer had never minded? Then what the hell had the severe warning been about? And way to mess up his mind even more, telling him he didn't mind when it was him. That gave Hayner hope and he didn't want it because he knew it had to be false. Seifer wasn't the sort of guy to like someone, not seriously and certainly not _him_. Seifer liking him was something he would have laughed at, if the fact that he did not didn't sting so much. He was supposed to be leaving and they were supposed to never be engaging in this kind of casual activity ever again. Seifer obviously wasn't up for something more solid and real, he clearly hadn't really listened to Hayner when he had said this was a bad idea. A bad idea just like Hayner allowing it to continue, no matter how _good_ it felt. He was kissing back and he shouldn't be, his tongue curling with Seifer's. He had to stop. It was in his best interests. He was just being stupid, letting this go on.

One of his hands was on Seifer's shoulder, the other round the back of his neck wanting to snake up into his hair. Seifer was leaning back a little and Hayner would have been pressed against him had Seifer not been so eager to run his hands all over Hayner's torso. Seifer was shifting now, attempting to lie back and take Hayner down with him. God, they were going to go to far, Hayner was going to end up in deep enough to drown.

Hayner let go of Seifer and pulled out of the kiss and Seifer dropped down onto the bed, looking rather bewildered and a little exasperated at Hayner stopping. He leaned up on one elbow and began to speak, "Hayner, what-"

But Hayner cut him off, "This… this isn't right." Seifer sighed deeply and reached for Hayner but Hayner caught his wrist, "No. Look, I don't want this. I want to go."

"Don't," Seifer said.

And Hayner wanted to believe he meant that, he really did, more than anything. But this was Seifer and he knew Seifer and couldn't kid himself. "I have to. I… I don't want this anymore. The just sex. I… I sort of want a real…" Hayner trailed off, feeling embarrassed. He couldn't tell Seifer this. He'd think it was stupid and girly. But he clearly needed a better reason to convince Seifer that he really did need to move out. "My stuff is packed. I'll go to Kairi or someone. It's fine."

Seifer was regarding him carefully and Hayner hated the feeling of being under such obvious scrutinization. Seifer was so good at reading him. He was going to figure it out.

"So you don't want me," Seifer stated, expression unreadable.

Hayner immediately felt the need to convince Seifer that he wanted him more than he could possibly explain but at the same time knew he should be grateful Seifer had made that assumption.

But Hayner found he couldn't bring himself to lie and say yes. "I'm not saying that," he said, looking down, and letting go of Seifer's arm, "I just don't want to have this… whatever this is anymore.

Before he could do anything to prevent it, Seifer had reached up and caught the back of his neck, pulling him down and crushing their lips together.

Seifer broke the kiss, but didn't let Hayner sit back up. "You don't want me," he breathed, lips millimetres from Hayner's. Seifer looked doubtful and it was more of a question. Hayner knew he hadn't been very convincing. If Seifer could tell before, he surely be able to read it completely in Hayner's face couldn't force himself to pull away, desperate not to, especially with Seifer's breath teasing over his lips.

"I just want something real," Hayner muttered, knowing he'd revealed all now.

Seifer smirked. He relaxed his arm and allowed Hayner's face to move a little more away from his. God, he knew. Damn him.

"Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked, a laugh evident in his tone.

Hayner refused to make eye contact. Humiliation. "Yeah."

Then Seifer was dragging him back down and kissing him again, lying back completely and putting his other arm round his waist and managing to tug him down to lie half on the bed and half on Seifer's chest. He pulled back, smirk wider than Hayner had ever seen it before, "Okay, but you're the girl." He barked out a laugh and then kissed him again, sliding his tongue fully round the inside of Hayner's mouth.

Disbelief flooded Hayner. What on earth? Had Seifer just agreed to go out with him? Seifer and him in an actual relationship. A real one. No way. But Seifer was tightening the arm round his waist and kissing him in a way that Hayner didn't really think was purely sexual.

"Seifer-" he tried to ask if the older blond meant it, as Seifer moved to kiss the edge of his jaw.

"Hayner," Seifer cut him off, "Seriously, can we talk in the morning? I was sleeping before you interrupted me. I'm fucking tired."

Hayner nodded and wondered if he should get up, but Seifer dragged the blankets up to cover both of them and wriggled a bit to get comfortable. Then he wrapped his other arm round Hayner's waist as well and kissed the corner of his lips. "Night Lamer."

Hayner blinked a few times, trying to work out what the hell had just happened. He carefully draped his arm across Seifer's chest and moved his head down to the crook of Seifer's neck. "Night."

Seifer had just kissed him and been perfectly normal after discovering that Hayner liked him. The world must be ending. He'd said they could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Hayner frowned, only now realising the teasing insult. But still. They were together.

And it dawned on him. They were _together_. He was with Seifer how Olette and Pence were - engagement aside, how Roxas and Axel were, how everyone seemed to be. He wasn't alone anymore. He had someone. He had better than someone, he had _Seifer_. And now he was grinning like a girl, into the dark, at nothing in particular other than he was now the 'girlfriend' of his arch nemesis. And he was happy. Ridiculously happy. He packed his bag for nothing and would have to unpack it the next day. And yet he couldn't even bring himself to be exasperated about that. He was such a sap. He lay and grinned and listened to the sound of a sleeping Seifer's breathing and felt the rise and fall of his chest - slowly getting sleepy himself - for awhile, before realising that he was in _Seifer's _bed. And was just about to sleep with him, in his bed. And in the morning would most likely _sleep _with him in said bed.

It was unreal.

He was _with_ Seifer. _Seifer_.

Damn him.

Hayner gently pushed one hand into Seifer's hair and smiled.

*

_I've had you so many times  
But somehow I want more_

* * *

It's over. If you spot any mistakes please let me know. I didn't check this as often as I usually would because I just wanted to get it up. I've already over run my deadline.

I hope you liked it. I really, really do. Can't belive it's finished.

If you haven't yet listened to the song, please do. It's great. And the line I use in every part is just so this story.

I will now be moving onto writing a Demyx and Zexion parter. But I think it will just be one part. If you want to read that you should check back in like a month. Haha, you can so tell I'm not planning on working hard.


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